[SchmennaLeigh]

Like yesterday, I'm polling in the open adoption forum to see who has legally binding open adoptions. I plan on asking a deeper question about the issue tomorrow.

So, this poll should only be answered by adoptive parents. However, as with the other poll, the topic can be discussed by all and discussion IS encouraged. (If you're a Birthparent, your poll is located here.)

[echaos]

Great Poll Jenna,

I'm Canadian, so no legal enforcement here, but we have a good faith aggreement that we signed through the agency.

[Shoshana]

I adopted my daughter from Guatemala, so the answer would be no. However, I do have contact with her bio-family!

[MrsSmith]

We wrote an agreement with Emma's bparents that was signed, witnessed and notarized, although not a legally binding contract, if you will. Just a morally binding one.

[SchmennaLeigh]

"Morally binding."

I like that term. Ours is much the same. I think I will start using that terminology. *high fives*

And Shoshana, super cool on the contact. I don't think I knew that.

And Andy... there's no enforcement at all in Canada? Any talk of it eventually ocurring? Or is it not necessary? Is open adoption more common in Canada? Or no? Okay, enough questions. HA!

[Leigh131313]

I'm one of the ones who signed a good faith agreement. There are no legally binding contracts where I am. If there were, I would not sign one that agreed to any sort of contact. I would agree to send pictures and an update once a year and that would be it. Previously I have stated that I would not sign a legal document, but I have somewhat changed my view on that.

I am VERY agreeable to WAY more contact, but I would not put it in a legally enforcable agreement. As it is, we have visits, letters, pictures..and honestly I feel that they are part of our family.

With our good faith agreement, I have never broken any of the things I have agreed to. My son's birthmom has not followed through on any of the things she has agreed to. It makes some things a little difficult on our end, but I dont see the benefit of bugging her about it... we just go with the flow.

Oh, and Jenna... Where I am, almost all adoptions are open. This does not mean visits, but usually the birthparents and adoptive parents meet as well as exchange information. There are only three options for adopting in Alberta. 1- gov't (older child closed) which is free 2- private agency (newborn open and older child open) about $8,000 or 3-international aprox $20,000+
It is not legal to solicit birthparents on your own (advertising) and you must go through an agency or the gov't. There is no such thing as going to a lawyer to adopt. The agencies use them to do the paperwork and thats it.

Leigh

[echaos]

I just reread the poll.... I voted wrong!!!

[SchmennaLeigh]

*giggles at Andy* Bravo! How did you mean to vote?

Leigh, thanks for explaining the differences in adoption there. Can I ask, obviously non-offensively, why you would sign (as MrsSmith put it) "morally binding" agreement but not a legally binding contract?

[echaos]

Originally Posted by FH-SchmennaLeigh

*giggles at Andy* Bravo! How did you mean to vote?

Hey Jenna,

I meant to choose the last option, not the second last one.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Heh. We all get click-happy now and again. I've done it before. I'm sure I'll do it again. I don't think you can edit it... so, we'll just make a mental note.

[echaos]

Actually, it turns out that I'm a moderator and I can edit them! so I fixed my oopsie.. the poll is now accurate!

[cathy102]

No one had us sign a thing but I will always keep a Open adoption with Lexi's birthfamily. We go on vacations together...

[sugarbabysmommy]

Could another catagory be added?

No, OAs (are) legally enforcable in our state, but we have a morally binding contract

[sugarbabysmommy]

If it's a discussion you want, then I will add this- I would have and did sign a morally binding contract but wouldn't and didn't sign a court enforcable contract. Why one and not the other? As a child I was forced by the courts to visit my biological family of my diseased biological father. I, along with my brother and parents, was forced to go to court ordered mediation and counseling- very much like described in CA adoption law regarding contact agreements. Based on that expereince I would never agree to the possiblity of letting the courts become part of my life again, or the life of my child. My parents were prevented from parenting as they saw fit, and my grandparents, along with other biological relatives, were allowed by the court to wreak havoc in our lives. There was nothing solid that my parents could point to that would prove my parents knew what they were doing when they stopped in person visits- all the courts saw were nice white haired rich folk. It took me until I was in my 20's to be free of their cr*p, it took my brother dying from cancer to free him.

Would I have walked from the match if babe's birthparents had insisted, yes. Am I angry about my experience, yes.

[MMC66]

We have a thing from the agency that says we'll provide the agency with letters and pics on a schedule and bmom can request them. BUT we have maintained an open arrangement with Addy's bmom that is working just fine. I haven't seen the need to put anything in writing as we are all comfortable with the situation. Niaive - maybe but it's working fine.

Martha