[janslem]

Hi! I am not sure if I should post here. My husband and I are considering adoption, but only want to do an open adoption. We want it to be where the birthmother can call or see the child when she would like. I find that with agencies they dont seem to allow this. How do you go about this. Is there anyway to do this independently?

Thanks Erica

[Volfe]

contact an adoption attorney in your area to discuss this. Of course it is possible.

maia

[sugarbabysmommy]

I recently read statistics that showed the majority (close to 80%) of agencies are now doing open adoptions of some degree. Openess varies greatly from adoption to adoption, and some agencies' ideas of openess varies greatly, there are those that say they do open when they really only do semi-open or semi-closed adoption. You may need to speak with agencies outside of your immediate area, and possibly outside of your state. We used an open adoption agency.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Anything is possible. We have it even though our state doesn't legally uphold open adoption nor did our agency encourage it. We set our own boundaries and established great trust.

[Volfe]

Yes, I think that in a state that doesn't uphold/ legally recognize open adoption... the agencies will not endorse it. You can't do it there. Agencies are held up to stricter scrutiny during the process than Independent Attornies. Of course, this is good and bad. Good because I much prefer the process to be followed... legal channels to be stuck to. Bad because open adoption can be harder to obtain (and counseling, etc as well).

Unfortunately in this state, I have found an agency that offers open adoption, which means they will say... "there's nothing we can do" if it falls through. Too much like false advertising.

What I suggest is read up on open adoption. Study it, plan it, create some tangible ideas.
Than approach an attorney. Be prepared to educate. I've had an atty tell me that open adoption is just knowing the names... well legally, maybe but how ignorant is that... knowingly creating a situation that is based on misinterpretations of the terminology is bad - dishonest.
Generally, the difference is you'll be bringing a potential birth mother to the atty, rather than an agency finding someone for you... This might sound daunting, but networking is key. Get the word out.
Interview with the expectant mother. I often recommend a list of what you want from open adoption. Contact schedules, later in life stuff... etc etc. Swap pages with an expectant mother and make sure everyone's on the same page. If you aren't... her baby is not meant for your home.

Good luck

Maia