[BrandyHagz]

My daughters parents are having a real hard go of things right now. “S” and I are very close friends, so we talk a lot…I do offer her advice, and I have advised her and “C” to get some marriage counseling.

How else can I support them? I don’t want them to worry about how I am going to react to them separating, if that’s what they chose to do. I would much rather they be apart and happy, then have “M” live in a miserably unhappy home.

Overall, I just want to be there for all of them. We have a very special, very close relationship…and I want what’s best for all of them…

Does anyone have any suggestions?

[tobeafamily]

Coming from being 'in their shoes', I think it would be really good to hear from you that you love all of them no matter what their marital status or what happens to them. You have the same interest at heart as they do: that M will the loving parents and happy life that she does, whether her parents live together or not.

As an aparent, I do feel the pressure at times to be 'perfect', to have no problems, no stresses, a rock-solid loving textbook marriage, etc. especially when it comes to Ryan's bfamily.

Fortunately, they live in a world that's real and also understand when things change and aren't as we thought they'd be when Ryan came.

IMHO.

Regina, AMom to Ryan Joshua Thomas

[BrandyHagz]

Thanks Regina,

I did try to do that...but I don’t know how well it came across. I want to write her an email later tonight and re-convey my feelings to her, perhaps a little more coherently.

I’ve told her that I am here for her if she needs me…and I think she knows that…but I don’t want her to doubt it at all, which is why I think I might email her later tonight.

Any other advice would be great!

[cathy102]

Brandy...

I am so sorry to hear about the Adoptive Family and that they are having problems. Hopefully they will go and talk to someone. I know that you are close with your daughter's family. That is so great. And I know that you and the adoptive mom are real close. I would just let her know that you will be there for her, just like any other good friend.

I don't have much advice. Just be honest with her when you email her. I think it's great that you will support them either way the situation would turn out.

I would never want to disappoint my kids birthfamilies in any way.. I am fortunate that my hubby and I get along so well and don't fight.. It saddens me when I hear that couples don't try and make the marriage work. Hopefully they will be able to work things out..

They will be in my prayers. Please let us know how the email goes..

Take care.. You are one of the nicest birthmom's that I have met on this site...

Cathy

[BrandyHagz]

Thanks Cathy, that means a lot to me.

I worry so much about them, they are really the only “family” I have, aside from my husband and son, and their happiness is important to me.

I’ll be sure and let everyone know how things go…again, thanks for the supprt.