[mkathrynw]

I know I need counseling to help me make a decision and not just that but to let me work out the incredible emotions that accompany being unwed and pregnant. So I talked to a couple people who know about that kind of stuff and called this founder of an adoption agency. Well my question is with an agency will I be pressured to place or will they be patient and HELP me make a choice. I really don't know what I want to do yet. I had been pregnant once before and placed but it was different then because I always knew I'd place and I started looking at profiles of families right away. I don't want to be in a situation that I feel like I can't get out of. I know no one can force me to place my baby but I sometimes feel like sertain people make it harder than others.

mkathrynw

[paperchasingmom]

Hi MKathryn,

I think your first sentence says alot sweetie...I need counseling....there's your answer.....

First and foremost, take care of yourself and your baby's health first. That also includes counseling....

Even though I'm a hopeful adoptive parent, again, being the honest, christian person I am, from reading and understanding what you're saying, you don't want to be pressured...

So that right there, is an answer....If I were you, I would wait to go with an agency or anyone....you're not going to lose anything by waiting honey, there will always be plenty of loving, willing people even at the very last second that would be there for you to adopt your child.....plus, you know how well it worked for you before, so there should be no fear of it, should you decide that's what you want, right?

No need to rush right into even talking to someone who might make you feel uncomfortable or rushed or forced....

Get your counseling, find out why this keeps happening, learn from it so you can prevent this situation from happening to you again........so next year, God forbid this doesn't happen again and your get heart broken again....

And I think that in helping yourself....you, yourself will find your answer and when you do, you'll know it and then feel God's peace and comfort in doing it.

Remember, if God's peace isn't there in what you're doing, that's a sign honey...

Blessings to you,
Melody

[Pixie]

I agree with most of what the previous poster said....just don't wait totally until the last minute....it would be very difficult for you to be getting counseling under the pressure of running out of time and possibly picking a family when you are under stress of having waited until it is urgernt. A lot of people seem to think 7-8 months along is a good time, if there is no known risk of premature birth.

Good luck to you!

[bromanchik]

It really depends on the agency. Please call. I can try and help you find a professional that will work with you on ALL your options, not just adoption.
--
Brenda Romanchik, Director
Insight: Open Adoption Resources and Support
721 Hawthorne
Royal Oak, MI 48067
248-543-0997
toll-free expectant parent/birthparent line 877-879-0669
http://www.openadoptioninsight.org

[kristy79]

mkathrynw,

I too am pregnant and in the waiting period of relinquishment. I chose to go through an adoption agency for many reasons. I chose a Christian adoption agency that has not once pressured me. Things chaned when I found out I was having twins. I told my adoption counselor that I was very unsure of my decision and I needed to reconsider everything. At this point I had/have a family already chosen. There was no pressure what so ever, and if you find a good agency you should feel no pressure. She gave me a big hug and prayed for me. She didn't stop calling me or praying for me and we met up a few weeks later and talked about things more. The agency I am working with gives you worksheets on making a choice, they are firm on helping women make the choice right for her not for the agency. A couple things I would keep in mind if I were you is to check out see if the agency is a non-profit agency, are they making money off of you? Do they have a mission statement? Are their counselors educated in this area? What do they offer birthmothers? The agency I work with meet with me wherever and whenever I feel it is necessary/comfortable, they are paying for me to see an outside physiologist (even though I am pregnant and haven’t placed) and the list goes on.

I believe you should be able to pick a family, even if you’re not certain and be given the space to change your mind freely with no guilt or hesitation!

Take care

Kristy