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Originally Posted By Grant

It seems the majority of birth mothers who select adoption are younger women...seemingly most are teenagers. Are there any resources or experiences in which the birth mother was in her 40's, and became pregnant due to nonconsensual sex? The person in question would have the financial resources to raise the coming children...(triplets btw)..but what might be good resources for working through an unusual set of circumstances like this? thank you.

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Originally Posted By Laura

Someone I heard about had this happen, gave birth (one baby) and kept it and loved it to pieces. It helped her deal with the unfortunate conception method because she felt that if that didn't happen she wouldn't have been blessed with the baby she adored.

Now, triplets add quite the twist. I'd think that going to counseling would be very helpful, maybe trying to find a support group. Giving the babies away won't erase the fact that the nonconsensual sex happened, worrying that they would be "a reminder", I'd wonder "what wouldn't be a reminder"?

The person in question is going to have to go through all the stages of dealing with the nonconsensual sex whether or not she raises the children. The question she'll have to ask herself is which can she add to dealing with that: raising three unplanned but beautiful children (they ARE biologically half hers and spiratually 100% hers), or dealing with the grief that birthmoms go through when they give their children up for adoption.

Best of luck to her.

Laura
laurae@qwest.net

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Originally Posted By Colleen

Please have your friend read the posting from this board #24 response 3 by Drama, its by a wonderful women who chose to parent her child. Also my son's birthparents were over 40. This was thier first and now their only child. Now that they are prepared to parent the doctors have said her eggs are to old. As their only child's adoptive mom, I feel deeply for the lost of them not being able to parent a child. But they still agree that adoption was the right chose for this child. My son's bparents may be willing to talk with her about the over 40 issue, so please let me know if your friend would like to speak with a bparent who chose adoption at age 41. she also needs to consider if she has other children now, or if she will want more.I hope she has had rape conseling, as that is the first thing she needs to deal with. And then look at become a parent to triplets. If she is considering adoption she should also seek conseling for this decision to.
How difficult this must be for her, she will be in my thoughts and prayers.-Colleen