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Originally Posted By dadezgrl1024

I have spent the last 4 weeks emailing back and forth and talking on the phone with a family about adopting my baby. They expressed a desire to be committed to me, and I to them, and I agreed. All was well and there was a great deal of trust there. Then I went to the doctor and found that I am having twins. Now the Adoptive father doesn't want to adopt them. I feel angry, rejected, let down, disappointed, etc, and fed up with the whole process. I can't deal with developing anymore emotional connections and being let down again. I guess this is one of those cases where I am forced to deal with the consequences of my own stupidity. I just wish that I had decided not to do this from the beginning. Now I feel trapped. Can someone help me?

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Originally Posted By email me..

You are not trapped! There are plenty of parents that would love to adopt your twins. I'm surprised at the couple you've been talking too. How does the woman feel? Maybe it's just shock on the Dad's part. You can contact an attorney who specializes in adoption and he/she will have couples that would be thrilled to love and parent your babies. If you decide to keep them and parent don't feel like you are being forced or trapped. Email me at vickisc@aol.com; I may have a solution you'd be interested in.

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Originally Posted By Deb

Oh, you poor thing, I feel terrible for you ... BUT look at it this way. If that family did not really want or feel capable of handling twins for whatever reason, then you would not want them raising your babies anyway. You want your children to be loved and nurtured unconditionally - regardless of sex, number etc. (you'd be surprised how many people back out of adoptions after finding out the sex of the baby).

Don't be discouraged and hang in there. If you are not ready to raise the babies for yourself, then keep looking until you find the perfect parents. I also encourage all families to consider an open adoption which will help you with your sense of loss, will help the child latter and will hopefully build a lifelong family relationship between you and the adoptive family. My sons birthfamily is part of our extended family now and I know they feel the same way.

Best wishes,

deb
debokane703@aol.com

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Originally Posted By what about this kid?

Sometimes people don't always realize just what they want and don't "back out" in time,and the child is stuck with them and they the child. Or they realize that the child doesn't quite act,look like they thought they would after they are not infants. Then what?

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Originally Posted By Shannon

Sorry to all...I just realized that my first post sounds like I'm soliciting birthmothers...I don't want anyone to think that. That is not what my post was about. I just wanted to apologize for that one! Have a blessed day everyone!

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Originally Posted By dadezgrl1024

Please e-mail me..I woudl love to talk toy ou and help you
Veersrt@aol.com ICQ 133873622

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HI, I am a foster mother and may be able to help you get in touch with agencys about adoption
I work with birthmoms on reuniting mostly but I do know a few agcencys.
No I do not wish to solicit and adopt
you asked for help and I will try help the best I can
you may e-mail me if you wish
sandralynn3000@yahoo.com

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Dont ya just love how adopters think they can pick and choose, yet they are the ones pressing mothers for thier unborn babies....kinda makes ya wonder.

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Originally Posted By Hello,my name is Sue

I think you ladies need to look at the scam board,this girl is a scam,I had e-mailed her for ahile,then seen the boars about her being a scam and I asked her,since then I haven't heard from her.So be careful with this one ok.

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Originally Posted By KMBzBRAT8@aol.com

you feel trapped how? If they don't want to adopt now that they know you are having twins then they wouldn't be the right parents for the babies. If you are this stressed over this then you obviosly want a good placement for your babies. When people adopt a baby they should view it the same as when they are pregnant with a baby, you don't chose the sex , eye color , hair color or if it will be a single or multiple birth. You take what God blesses you with. You cannot control the fact you are having twins. I intended to come to this website just to read not to respond but i've felt compelled to respond to some of the pleas for help and advice. I am not looking to place a child for adoption i am on the other side of the fence and looking to adopt and wanted to just see what the birthmoms go through, How they feel. I know it has to be such a hard decision and i feel i would be a better person and parent if i can understand birthmothers points of view and hardships with the decision. I can see from reading these how hard it is. I thought being able to adopt was hard to do. I can see this is a very difficult and trying process for you as a birthmom. Good luck is all I can say. They werent the right ones for your babies i guess but you will find the right ones out there. You now know it is twins so maybe you can find someone who wont be turned away by that. There are loving people out there. Don't let this make you think that all people will be the same and back out after you have begun to trust them.

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Originally Posted By brenda

Email me at;gary111@bellsouth.net,Please.

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Originally Posted By Susan

I agree, I can't understand why someome would not be happy about twins. I do not know what has happened, since you posted this message. I know that Ithink twins would be a wonderful blessing to have. I am sorry that you have had such a hard time . I do not get it either.


Susie