[kakuehl]

Originally Posted by Stillamom

So why then is it, or is it just in my situation, that the aparents feel we owe them an explanation? Seems everything is analyzed and then questioned. Then, if the answers don't seem to fit their assumptions of how things happened, they feel a need to insert a possibly different scenario. What the !@?!? Of course, I know some of it comes from bdad because his "explanation" came first and doesn't coincide. But guess what guys, he WAS NOT there!!! Do they think they are helping their DD find answers? She is, after all, old enough to decide for herself what she wants to believe. I think it is causing more harm than good. Their questioning, along with bd questioning is causing her to question. I think getting a little education would be more productive. So why do I even answer? Quite frankly, it's very insulting when someone tries to tell me that they know more about my life than I do.

It is just so obvious and frustrating that people still don't get what went on in the closed era. I am surprised, though, that people who adopted during that time wouldn't have a clue either! Quite frankly, I don't think anyone wants to believe it because then there would be a lot more apologies due. We birthmothers, are the only ones who should be apologizing, right? (sarcasm)

I've only been here a short time and have learned a lot and have been helped alot by all of you,(thank you) but it seems as though the more I learn, the more frustrated I get. ;-(

Btw, Kathy, thanks for the prayers. I know God loves me.

I think it's probably understandable that aparents from the closed era have no clue. After all, they were part of society at the time and heard (and probably believed all the lies that were told them). I was incredibly lucky: the little information D's parents received from the agency was accurate and they chose to share it with D accurately.

Remember, some aparents are afraid they will be left out of their child's life. And in the first flush of reunion when the "child" often wants to spend much time with the birth parent, it seems like their fears are coming true.