[-emma-lee-]

So its me again,
Its been 4 long months since my little girl left.
I can't say I regret my decision because yes it was what was best for her, but it was definitly not what was best for me. I've gone back to highschool, and found friends and what not. My parents are trying there best to be their for me and even my birthmother has appoligized for taking me to court to steal my baby and what not. I'm in councelling now and everything.. Seemingly things would be going well. But there is not one minute that goes by that I'm not thinking about her or wishing she was here with me. It has been the best and worst 4 months of my life... (best because i met my baby girl and worst because shes gone.)

Does anyone else constantly feel like their arms are empty?
Is anyone else in the in between of regret.. knowing it was best for your child but regreting it for yourself... as selfish as that sounds?


I feel like my parents shouldn't be parenting me anymore, and when they tell me what I can or cannot do its just like they are rubbing it in my face that my daughter is gone. Does that make sence?
I'm a mess, and I know how cliquiseh? (sp) this sounds but I feel sooo soo alone!

Does the pain ever go away?
Do you ever stop hoping and wishing that the baby will come back?

As beautiful as her adoption story is for her, it is absolute **** for me.

[Birthmom12_10_2008]

My son will be 4 months old on the 10th, so I know exactly how you feel - I hope hearing that I am struggling too helps....PM me if you need/want to

Originally Posted by -emma-lee-

Does anyone else constantly feel like their arms are empty?
Is anyone else in the in between of regret.. knowing it was best for your child but regreting it for yourself... as selfish as that sounds?

I feel like my arms are empty every day, and I also find myself tip-toeing the line of regret and not regretting.

Originally Posted by -emma-lee-

Does the pain ever go away?
Do you ever stop hoping and wishing that the baby will come back?
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I don't think the pain will ever go away, but it might fade and dull with time. And I've found myself praying he would come back to me.

[A_Lost_Chroi]

Hi there,

I'm new to this web site and I saw your post.

In regards to what you wrote...

"Does anyone else constantly feel like their arms are empty?
Is anyone else in the in between of regret.. knowing it was best for your child but regreting it for yourself... as selfish as that sounds?"

I know exactly how you feel. I regret my decision every day, and I wish I could have my daughter back, however I know that I made the right choice.
I've never been in so much pain before in my life. Not only is it emotionally painfull but it's physical too. It's staggering.

My daughter is Two months and 6 days old. I placed her for adoption two months and 4 days ago. I've never been in so much pain in my life.

If you want to talk, just send me a message on here. I'm still not quite sure how this site works. :/

[deniserod79]

Hi, Hunnie I got prego at the age of 13 going on 14 15 years ago. I know how you feel. Because you will never stop missing your child you will find away to block it out and move on. But one day I had open that spot up again and let me tell you it will hurt. My son turns 15 years old next week and for the first time I saw a picture I never cry before when I saw his picture. But to see him look like me and my family was over whelming but in a good way. He is doing very well. I wrote to the adoptive mother after finding him and her on Facebook. I also found Video of him on Utube so now I can hear his sweet voice and see how he is with other people. I finally know how it is to be a proud mother. I do not have anyother children but him...I have 3 more years until I meet him and that will be the longest 3 years of my life....I hope this help<3

[deniserod79]

Also you will always feel empty no matter what happens in your life ladys...But just know your babys are in a better place...I feel for all of you because I was there once...Remember no one can take your memory from you...

[deniserod79]

CoriLynn,

My heart crys for you, do not regret it. here is a quote for you my darlen. "Apotion is the most selfless act you can do for your child." here is also a poem that help through my pain.
Once there were two women
Who hardly knew each other
One you do not remember
The other you call mother
Two different lives shaped to make yours one
One becoming your guiding star
The other became your sun
The first gave you life
And the second taught you to live in it
The first gave you a need for love
And the second was there to give it
One gave you nationality
The other gave you a name
One gave you the seed of talent
The other gave you an aim
One gave you emotions
The other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile
The other dried your tears
The age old questions through the years;
Heredity or environment -
which are you the product of ?
Neither my darling - neither
Just two different kinds of love!
write if you need to talk because I've been in your shoes....