[Tigger27]

Just curious...but if any of you came across the aparents on facebook, what would you do?

Like say you're looking through your e-mail account(s) to see who's on facebook that you e-mail, ya know and along with the e-mail addy to the aparents comes their facebook pages, what would you do?

I saw both the aparents to my girls on the list of people on facebook that I e-mail that I could add as friends and it presents an interesting question for myself now...so I'm wondering what the rest of you would do.

I'm wondering about e-mailing them the next time I write to them and mentioning something about it or not...wondering if they'd rather I didn't ask/mention about facebook or what...so what would you do?

[kakuehl]

Being me, I'd probably click on add as friend and see what happened! But that's just me. (Something about rushing in where angels fear to tread...)

[abensonslaton]

I have added the birth parnets as it is an easy way for them to look at continued updated pics of their son and our other childern and send to the birth grandparents who are also involved. It easy and they have never intruded this space and are more than welcome to share pics with their family and friends as I make it public can make it private album if you don't want to do it etc. I would just ask and see what they say.
Ange
a mom to Gabe age 5
bio mom to Garrett age 4
bio mom to Gigi age 3

[dklevy]

I would definately try to add them! The worst that could happen is that they deny you. I've searched for my daughter's parents on facebook and myspace. Never found them though.....

[thanksgivingmom]

I know that Dee is on Myspace, but for some reason never checked facebook! haha! SO, I just checked (by name not email so not THAT thorough) and she's not there.

BUT, when I found her on Myspace I didn't ask to be her friend. Partly because my having a child isn't something that's open in my life, but I DO have a very private Myspace and I didn't ask her there either.

To be honest, I think it didn't really occur to me, but that's probably because I already wonder if I bother her so I don't want to push my way into her cyberlife too.

[lahdh4]

I wouldn't. Just because of the way our relationship is now with all the issues. I like them not being there.

[JustCourtney]

I think it depends on your relationship, and if they are very private people. My son's first mom told me about making a Myspace page so she could share pics and news about him with her family and friends, but never asked me if I wanted to be her friend. I am okay with that, because I think she needs her own space to express herself, without having to worry about me "listening in" so to speak. If she did ask me, I would probably have said "no" because I also like to maintain a place that is privately mine. I don't need to know who all her friends are and what she did this weekend, and vice versa.

Of course, we struggled with boundary issues when we were in contact (she chose to close recently), and it would had seriously blurred the edges of what our roles were.

If you feel comfortable with the possibility of her saying no - then go for it. If her saying no would damage your relationship - don't risk it.

[Birthmom12_10_2008]

I'm friends with the aparents on mine since they were friends of mine before the adoption and some days it doesn't bother me to see updates and some days it does bother me. So I don't know what I'd do if I weren't friends with them, but I get to see pictures and hear how he's doing on a pretty regular basis so that helps. But then again, some days it doesn't.

I think if they weren't friends on mine and I found them I think my first instinct would be to add them, to form that relationship so that reunion might come eaiser, but I don't think I'd really do it, for fear of making them feel like I was invading or fear of them thinking I was seeking them out.

Hope that helped.

[lahdh4]

I just found out that amom has a facebook. It is private, but still.......

[billysmommy]

My kids first mom is a friend on both myspace and facebook.

[SchmennaLeigh]

D and I have been friends on Facebook since we created our accounts... so...

[Tigger27]

Just a little update...I hadn't sent a message/request on Facebook yet, but was planning to when I got an e-mail from my 4 1/2 yr old's mom earlier tonight asking if I was on Facebook.

Apparently, my 4 1/2 yr old's mom, has been wondering about asking me about Facebook and getting together to chat online via Facebook sometime.

So, I e-mailed her back and sent her a Facebook request and we're going to see about chatting online later this week most likely.

Anyway, I just had to share and I'm planning to e-mail and see how my 6 yr old's mom feels about Facebook later on too .

[Teenmom2007]

Well considering the adoptive parents don't use facebook, no luck there. I do howeer have a really open adoption and see my 2 yr old every week.
I became very close to the adoptive family, adn we have Family Home Evenings 2 Sundays a month. I added the adoptive mom's nieces and nephews who I knew and Are my family. We (the adoptive couple adn I) also have blogspots. Sometimes its weird because I blog even my bad days and the adoptive mom reads them and calls me worrying.
Its nice tho