[Janeytwo]

Dear Texasmom,

I have another child, but I worry that I am not a good mother to him either. Or good enough I should say. Feeling very insecure.

I haven't reunited with my children but I totally sympathize with what you said here. Many times I've questioned myself as a mom. Am I good enough? Am I handling this or that situation correctly? Could I have done better?

Maybe that's what makes a good parent....that questioning.....perhaps it's just another way of making sure we're being the best we can be.

Probably most parents question their abilities as a mom or dad but perhaps for us....having relinquished.....makes us harder on ourselves than others are.

I dunno. I think being a parent is tough in the easiest of times.

Keep sharing, okay?

[texasmom1952]

Thank you both for your advice. No particular issues right now. She lives in California and I am in Texas, so daily contact by email is what we have right now. And weekly phone calls. She has stopped telling me about her troubles with her current boyfriend. He has been abusive and works only when he feels like it. she doesn't like my advice (and you all know what my advice has been :>)...so, I just try to stay positive with her and tell her that it is her decision to leave him or stay. Hoping when she gets tired of it...well, she will leave.
I do try to take it day by day.

[texasmom1952]

Janey, thanks so much! Are you looking for the child you relinquished?

[texasmom1952]

If you hate them, won't they hate you. Maybe if you approach it from a different perspecitive?

[kakuehl]

Umm... who are you referring to Texasmom?

[RavenSong]

Originally Posted by kakuehl

Umm... who are you referring to Texasmom?

Kathy, I think the mods deleted the post that Texasmom was responding to...

[kakuehl]

Originally Posted by texasmom1952

Janey, thanks so much! Are you looking for the child you relinquished?

She is looking for both her children.

[PhillyFanatic]

I want to find my daughter who was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Rolling Hill Hospital on September 22, 1969.That is all the information I know. How can I find her or find out if she has ever looked for me?

[pswelsh40]

Originally Posted by Mommy24

First Mom here I am currently in reunion and it is HARD! I am here everyday but don't have much to post about as of now. Still finding my way on this new journey, but please feel free to PM me anytime I can lend a shoulder or an ear

I KNOW THAT IS RIGHT...

[pswelsh40]

Hi Philly~
She would be my age 40. Anyway, do you know her name? Do you have court paper's with her last known name? I want to help you find your daughter. Please write me back when you get time.

[PhillyFanatic]

Thank you for replying. I was only 19 during the year of 1969. I was over 18, but did not know the "legal age" laws. I had a domineering mother who planned my path. I was brought to a doctor, arrangements were made for me to be sent away with an older woman on a farm, I was brought to the hospital when I was in labor, knocked out and not put on the maternity floor. I insisted once to see her so I could tell her I will always love her and I fed her. The time together was brief.
The day I left the hospital they had her swaddled in a blanket and I had to hand her over to some people who I am sure were the lawyers or whoever my parents arranged this with. I know nothing except year, date, hospital and city and state. Not much to go on. Hopefully someday my closure will come. I want her to know I always thought of her, love her and the real story.

[itsallabouther]

I'm a birthmom.............

[PhillyFanatic]

I read your blog and I know exactly what you mean. This is a big year for me and exceptionally hard. My daughter will be fourty this year. I just wonder how she is, does she have a family and most of all is she experiencing a good life. Mom's who had to give up their baby for adoption should not be looked down upon. The majority of us had a reason why. I was forced to do it, but I will not rehash my story again.
Thanks for your posting. I love reading stories about birth parents and the seperation from their child. Sometimes we are overlooked.

[PhillyFanatic]

I guess you are going through a very difficult experience. How old is your child now? Please, only if you want to share, what is it like? If you would just like to communicate through private mail I will give you my e-mail, but the more birth parents share their experiences the more we can benefit from the dialog.

Thanks for sharing.

[Scarlet Moon 13]

Originally Posted by CalamityJane

I've noticed that there are quite a lot of active adoptive parents, mostly adoptive mothers who are active on the forums on this site. What I haven't seen is an equal number of birth parents.

Is there a reason for this? Are birth parents less supported here?

Just something I happened to notice since joining a few weeks ago.

depends on the thread, depends on the age, depends on time.

I don't come as often as I used too, 13 years almost into reunion and I don't need to talk to people as much as I used to.

My birthson's son's oldest boy is coming to spend a week with me next month. Son is coming up in September for a week alone.. Life moves on.