[onewhoisblessed]

To make a long story short my bdaughter contacted me a year ago........we emailed and chatted for a while but we had a very up and down relationship........not good, she decided that she didnt want to continue with it. Since that time I have been in theraphy and things are better for me.......I would love to re connect with her but am not sure how to do this without pushing her. Any ideas BMoms??? thanks

[Jennasmom1990]

Oh I know this story very well. My reunion has been full of ups and downs, you can read my other posts and get the whole big picture. The one thing I can tell you from my endeavors is just don't be pushy about needing her in your life. Want her, love her, but try not to NEED her. I don't know your whole story, so I can't give you applicable advice, but I can tell you that reunion is a scary nerve wracking time and she needs to feel wanted more than she needs to be needed.

She needs to know that you want her, but that if you don't you won't stop living tomorrow because of it. Just love her, support her, comfort her, and want her. Oh and also weighing your words will go along way, say what you mean and mean what you say...that is what most adoptees in reunion want and need the most. They want and need to know that you are as good as word, and that your word is good. Does that make sense?

[cetalley]

Hello I am a firstmom waiting to reunite with my twin sons. If and when that time comes, I am very bull-headed, I have resolved myself into NOT pushing. I will abide by their decision, for it must be thaeirs not mine to want me back in their lives. I WILL be happy to know they are safe , happy, and healthy together. I know this will not be easy, but WILL follow my own rule. Please keep us posted and know you can vent here no matter what....

[onewhoisblessed]

Thanks Jen for the advice............I'll keep it in mind always.............