[sstol1]

Hi all, I'm a new member. I posted a similar thread in another forum, but thought I'd see what other birthmoms did. My son, whom I placed in February 1989 and is now 19, contacted his birthfather, who contacted me through classmates.com to inform me that son had made email contact. I immediately fell apart. I had mentally prepared myself that he might not ever contact. I have 3 children that I raised, 18 y/o girl, 15 y/o girl and 10 y/o boy. They have no idea and my husband and I have decided to tell them this weekend. I just can't go on this way, now that I've seen his face, read his words. Before, I couldn't talk about it much, especially to my children, it was too painful, I was afraid they would turn away and be ashamed. I'm elated and absolutely terrified at the same time.

I'm still waiting for contact from birth son and will be here when he decides he's ready. If he needs time, he'll get it, if he needs space, he'll get it. Whatever he wants, whatever it takes.

But I'm scared witless to tell my kids, but realize the time has come. Any advice? Any words of wisdom? Any prayers to say while you wait for that beloved child to make contact?? anything would help...going a little bit crazy here...can't eat, can't sleep. eek!

[quantum]

Hiya!
I've been able to avoid your situation since I found my bson when the daughters I'm raising were only 4 and 2, so they are growing up knowing about him, I'm sure more questions will come later, now they just know they have a big brother who lives far away.

OK! Key thing here, honesty. Tell them what happened, tell them how hard it is for you to talk about, tell them your fears and hopes. I think you'll be ok. Answer questions, give them love and support.
I just feel like doing this will help them 'get' it. How old were you when you relinquished?
It's impossible to know how your kids will react, but I really feel that being honest about why you haven't told them before will help the situation.

I hope your reunion happens soon and goes well!
You can find some great support here!!

[sstol1]

hello everyone, i wanted to thank you all for your replies. we told my kids on saturday night and they took it very, very well! so much better than i ever expected. 2 of the 3 were very excited, you'd think they'd won the lottery! the 3rd was a little quiet...but very sweet to me...said it was "cool, but weird...but cool". whatever the heck that means. )

anyway, wanted to let you all know that things are moving slowly, but i think in the right direction.

thanks again!

[stinky_kitty]

I'm sure that you must feel relieved to have it all out in the open now, so to speak.

[quantum]

Great news! I was hoping that would be the case!
You'll probably hit some bumps along the way but you must feel SO RELIEVED to have this out!