[jules17]

I am a soon-to-be therapist. So, naturally, I have to understand everything. I have to psychoanalyze every scrap. (Although contrary to most popular opinion, I am not always psychoanalzying people!)

It is in this understanding that I am able to make decisions, feeling comfortable that I know the true thoughts, feelings and motivations of another.

I hope this isn't too personal - I figured since most firstmoms have shared a great deal, it wouldn't be? I don't know - if it is, please close/delete it.

Finally getting around to it...We are not new to adoption, but we are new to domestic adoption. I have always felt, but feel even more so with domestic adoption, that I want to really understand the firstmom (and, yes, I know that all firstmoms are different, just as aparents are). Firstmoms, I want to know how you felt when you were making your decisions. I want to know how you felt after. I want to know how you feel now. I want to know how it changed your life. I want to know what you want(ed) for your child. I have read from other firstmoms who feel like their voice was snuffed out. I am begging to hear your voice!

I feel so wrong worrying about "our" end of things - the silly HS and picture book...when the firstmom is dealing with something that will alter her life forever.

If this thread can be helpful and respectful to firstmoms and a parents, while respecting the boundaries that the mods and Brandy have set up (no talk of OA, etc.) then I would love it. If it feels negative or too personal, then let's forget it.

Thank you so much.
__________________
Jules

http://lovingourtwoguys.blogspot.com/

5/23/06- our sweet baby Samuel Miles born
1/19/07 - Home with The Giggler and never been happier!


11/08/06 - our sweet baby Lucas Matthew born
8/21/07 - Home!!! The Growler is just like his brother - a complete HONEY BEAR!


With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown." -Chinese proverb

I LOVE MY SWEET SONS!!!

[jules17]

I should add our sons were adopted from Guatemala, so there was never an option of knowing anything about the birthmom. I only have a paragraph on each one and it makes me so sad.