[bromanchik]

Wow! Where to begin? I've been public since 1986 so I have been attacked in so many different ways, by so many different groups of people that I lost track a long time ago with the particulars.

My favorite was being attacked by Kenny Rogers sister-in-law on Geraldo. Her mother sold her for a motorcycle. I actually wanted to pull up my sleeves and show her that I didn't have tracks.

[vbigelow]

When I began participating in theses online discussions about adoption, I believed that I could speak my mind without fear of attack. Not so.
Two days ago, I received an unsolicited email from a troll who verbally assaulted me with profanity for opinions I have posted here and on other adoption sites. I tried to reason with her, but she was unrelenting.
This woman was a teen mother to a now-grown child with ASD and mild CP. She parented this child and looks back at the struggle to do so with great resentment. Sadly, she is now an adoptive mother to a baby girl whose birthmother she speaks of in the most disrespectful terms. She is also advertising hoping to attract women in crisis pregnancy on the Internet. She'd like to adopt again.
In the meantime, she is trolling adoption blogs and sites looking for posts by those who believe adoption should be a last resort and for those who post stating young mothers should be offered the resources to parent. If you such a person or if you are a young woman in crisis pregnancy who is thinking of parenting, you are fair game for this evil person.
I am happy to provide this woman's name, IP and email addresses so you can block her. PM me if you are interested. It's sure no fun to start your morning with an attack.

[vbigelow]

Originally Posted by quantum

I felt more attacked for my parenting views when posting on the La Leche League forums! And beleive me, my comments were NOT disrespectful or weird. (For example I posted that my 5 year old gave up naps before she was 3 and got completely jumped on by someone...weird).

I know what you mean. I was a La Leche Leader for nine years (mid eighties to mid nineties). I love the group and I think they do great things. I am 100% about breastfeeding (don't flame me, this is my opinion...it doesn't have to be yours) and my doctor husband and I were really dedicated to helping women who wanted to breastfeed and who were having difficulties to be successful. We made home visits, even those in horrible neighborhoods. Yet, my final leadership approval was held up because I confessed that we didn't eat ALL whole foods (all that bran gave my kids very sore butts!!!) and that I paddled my kids every so often. I also met those who were very judgmental about mother's going back to work; people who didn't do the family bed thing; mother's who didn't do everything according to the group's philosophy. Most people I met were normal, but others were fanatical. This subgroup was a reason we could not get support from our local pediatricians. Too bad....and confusing. When I was having babies, in the seventies and eighties, the average age for weaning in the world was three, but the average age for weaning in the US was birth to three months. Even though all of the medical research supported us, those of us who chose to nurse into toddlerhood were looked down upon by society and clung together in the La Leche League. It's ironic to me that this group of people who were disgusting to so many would judge others for such small variations on the parenting theme. Go figure.

[keds]

Yes, definitely, many, many times! I always take the position that the individual doesn't know me, has the right to their opinion (good or bad), and likely is unhappy about something that me or my comments have made them realize about themselves. I find those people that are quite vocal on the internet forums rarely speak out in a "real" situation. My feeling, if I won't stand by my words face to face than I have no business posting them. I try never to make someone else feel badly in order to make myself look better/smarter or "right". What's the point?? There's enough misery and low self-esteem to go around as it is.

My daughter left her cell phone in a cab last Saturday night (her 3rd one) and I was so angry but didn't say much because she already felt badly. The driver had turned it in and they called her. When we went to pick it up she decided to give him a small reward (her own money) but the gentleman said no what I want you to do next time you are going to say something that would hurt someone to hold her your tongue or if you see someone that needs a hot meal, treat them. What a nice person. I'm going to try and remember his attitude the next time I get attacked and just let it go. They obviously don't have anything better to do and, as John Candy said in Planes, Trains and Automobiles, "I like me, my wife likes me". Well, in my case, I'm working on liking me, my kids, both raised and my bson, like me. To me, everyone else's opinion really doesn't matter. I respect them but try not to take their comments to heart (sometimes easier said than done).

The most painful attacks about being a bmom are from my own family (who did not have anything to do with placing bson - ha ha) usually face to face at some random holiday. Sometimes I wish they were separated from me by a computer screen and I could simply delete them!

[quantum]

Three cheers for Keds and what she's said!