[Tigger27]

I was at church last week and there have been other places I've heard it too, but it was just this last week at church when someone was talking about a girl they knew who had two illegimate children that I cringed.

So I wondered how many of you have heard that term and cringed besides me?

I've never even thought or had anyone use the term of illegimate child when discussing how I had and placed my two girls. I just can't even imagine ever thinking of my girls as "illegimate" - it just bugs.

So, feel free to discuss respectfully if you'd like.

[bromanchik]

It's a nasty and degrading term. For years adoption agencies used that term (and it's baser form, bast@#&%) to scare women into relinquishment. It needs to go.

[Janeytwo]

Dear Anne,

As per my thread, I absolutely despise this term. I am glad it's off the birth certificate forms now and I'd personally like to thank whatever individual/organization did that for my State.

Janey

[dpen6]

Being the age I am, its what I grew up with. It was what I would have been if not adopted. It was not spoken of in terms of me, but I was not stupid, I knew full well what it meant.

I had a neighbor that had 3 "illeginamte" children . And I can tell you they were shunned. I also knew that could have been me if I was kept. It was the child that carried the "stain". Its just the way it was in the 60's and 70's.

[BrandyHagz]

Hate it.

I became active in a church only to be totally disgusted by their views on the topic of adoption and birth parents, so I left.

[JustPeachy]

I honestly didn't realize anyone still used the term. Yes, it offends me. There is no reason or excuse to refer to any child as "illegitimate."

[NJGirl]

I didn't realize the term was still used either and don't particularly care for it at all. It definitely leaves negative effects on the child more so than the parents.

[belleinblue1978]

I hate it.... I got called that and a bas**** when I was growing up, when hilariously, I was neither, even if I would have been kept.

What floors me is when it get used with adopted kids but not the 10 other kids in the class that are being raised by single, never married, parents. *HUGE eye roll*

[thanksgivingmom]

Belle, where you technically never should have been "illegitimate" I guess Cupcake is doubly "illegitimate" since she was adopted by a single Mom...I suppose I haven't really heard the term since I placed, but it's disgusting that people would still say that.

[loveajax]

I've never heard anyone use it IRL, but of course on TV (esp. soaps!). Totally offensive.

[lahdh4]

hate, hate, hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sjanae76]

I also hate the terms "unwed mother" and "out of wedlock"

~Sarah

[paigeturner]

I hate those terms too! Out-of-wedlock...unwed...ick.

[belleinblue1978]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

Belle, where you technically never should have been "illegitimate" I guess Cupcake is doubly "illegitimate" since she was adopted by a single Mom...I suppose I haven't really heard the term since I placed, but it's disgusting that people would still say that.

It's crazy the things that some people think is ok to say. I think over the years I have worked on growing a thick skin about that stuff... or I would like to think I have, lol.

[Oceans]

I was looking at my son's papers a few months back. I have a copy of the bdad's TPR. He was named as the father of the child conceived "out of wedlock". On my Guardian Ad Litem papers I was the named the mother of an "illegitimate child".

Both were drawn up by the same attorney... How rude is that?

He (the attorney) was so nice to my face!