[mg1970]

I am considering working with an adoption attorney. I'd rather match through an agency but I'm not having any luck there.

I'm wondering, why would a PBM contact an attorney? It seems to me if I was in the situation I would not go that route. I wouldn't even know who to contact.

Just wondering.

Thanks for your help,
M

[Jackiejdajda]

Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute

Adoptions today have changed radically from the clandestine and often-coercive arrangements that many young women experienced in earlier generations. For example, historically, birthmothers were primarily unwed teenage mothers who often had to drop out of school and leave home during their pregnancies. Today that profile is rare. The Adoption Institute's analysis of available data indicates that only about one-fourth of women choosing adoption are below the age of 20. Most birthmothers have completed high school, and many have other children. According to practitioners, the most common situations among women choosing adoption today include women in their early- to mid-20s who are just becoming independent from their parents, and single women with other children who believe they cannot manage parenting another child at this point.

Soooo these women are smart.. (some of them as always) and IMO a lawyer gives a woman more control over the situation..

Jackie

[SchmennaLeigh]

In direct oposition to what Jackie just wrote, the mothers I know who have placed in this century through attorneys/lawyers were lead their by their parents who did not know anything more about adoption than to visit someone legal. In these seven or so cases, the attorney represented both the adoptive parents AND the birth mother. The birth mother did not pay. Whose "best interest" do you think the attorney was looking out for?

I advise all expectant parents researching adoption to secure their OWN legal counsel, not to rely on the adoptive parents hire.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

In these seven or so cases, the attorney represented both the adoptive parents AND the birth mother. The birth mother did not pay. Whose "best interest" do you think the attorney was looking out for?

I advise all expectant parents researching adoption to secure their OWN legal counsel, not to rely on the adoptive parents hire.

Exactly! There is a "feeling" that working with an attorney gives them more control. Alas, in my experience it is only a feeling. Attorney's have very little in their code of ethics that address self determination for an expectant mom.

[bmomto2_momto2]

I have placed 2 children for adoption. One through an agency and one private adoption with an attorney. The agency adoption came first and in my specific case I had absolutely no control or decision-making authority in that adoption. I understand that many agencies do not have such horrible practices but that was my experience. The second adoption was completely within my control. I found the aparents through an add placed in my local paper (they lived in an entirely different state). The aparents worked directly with me and the father even though their attorney handled all of the legal matters. I have been thrilled with the outcome of this second adoption. I have such pain and frustration regarding the first adoption. As far as I am concerned... you can get good and bad adoption scenarios out of either an agency adoption or an adoption involving an attorney. I also believe that both an agency and an attorney look out more for their clients... the aparents. Just my opinion based on my experience. My best advice to you is to go with what you feel. You will feel when it is right. I was worried the entire time through the first adoption but was completely relaxed and happy through the second. What I felt at the time of each adoption has continued to ring true throughout each one to this day.

[Jackiejdajda]

My experience with current adoption practices is what I learned from a woman that used to post here.. We ended up being friends.. Her adoption attorney arranged for therapy etc paid for by the adoptive parents.. visits as well..

Agencies scare me..

But we all have different experiences.. and this is all very interesting..

Jackie