[thanksgivingmom]

Originally Posted by abjbadopt

It sounds like they would have put it in ANY bill envelope. They probably leave these everywhere. I think that people are over reacting to this article.
We however would never be comfortable doing this that is one reason why we chose international. But the couple who left the card probably didn't know it would be so offensive. Sometimes people just don't know how to put themselves in someone else's shoes.

And sometimes the friend that says "Aren't you worried you son's Real Mom is going to come look for him?" probably didn't mean to offend either. But it's offensive! And I stand by amoms that are offended by it. Because it's their feelings, and who am I to discount them?

In adoption - and hopefully in society in general - you need to learn to put yourself in someone else's shoes. I truly don't think adoption works very well if you're not able to try that.

[Tunay4754]

I agree with abjbadopt.

Understanding the feelings of others also means not jumping to conclusions about the motives and "entitlement" of the hopeful adoptive parents in the situation.

Tunay

[Oceans]

Whether or not this person was targeting the waitress, networking to strangers in just tacky IMO - How would someone feel if the waitress or your bank teller handed you a card saying...

HI - I'm a financially secure and happy person looking for a man who's not afraid of marriage. If you are thinking of getting rid of your hubby (or know someone who is) could you please call me at 1-800-INAPPROPRIATE - Let's chat!

[paigeturner]

Originally Posted by Oceans

If you are thinking of getting rid of your hubby (or know someone who is) could you please call me at 1-800-INAPPROPRIATE - Let's chat!

What's that number again???? I have a hubby to get rid of!

This is great...Snark award of the day!!!!

[belleinblue1978]

Originally Posted by Tunay4754

I agree with abjbadopt.

Understanding the feelings of others also means not jumping to conclusions about the motives and "entitlement" of the hopeful adoptive parents in the situation.

Tunay

I think the motive here is pretty clear, they want a baby and they don't care who they offend in the process.

I will always think that networking like that is tacky and rude and smacks of entitlement.

I'm sorry, but I just can't see this as a defendable position.

[Tunay4754]

You are ascribing to them motives that you don't know whether or not they have. IMO that is tacky and rude.

[kakuehl]

Just a reminder... the original question was how does this make YOU feel? Perhaps, once again, we need to be careful about the assumptions we make about how others are thinking, feeling, etc., and focus instead on our own reactions.

[BrandyHagz]

I don't have a problem with these specific people. I have a problem with the practice as a whole.

Like has been said, I don't know their motives, so I can't comment on that - but it doesn't matter what their motives are to me (or who they gave the card to or that she was pregnant) - I disagree with and find the practice of this type of networking, offensive. The fact that they gave the card to this women (regardless of their motives) only solidifies this for me...

You just never know who you're going to hurt/offend...

[loveajax]

OT: Tmom, your hamburlar "face" is scaring me!

[lonni]

"I think the motive here is pretty clear, they want a baby and they don't care who they offend in the process. " Belle said


I am so glad my APs did not stomp all over innocent fertile people to adopt me, aren't you Belle? Guess today's adopted children will now have to ask, "was I a business card baby, or did you meet my natural mom at her Lamaze class handing out your business cards"? jmo

[belleinblue1978]

Originally Posted by Tunay4754

You are ascribing to them motives that you don't know whether or not they have. IMO that is tacky and rude.

Well Tunay, you can have your opinion and I can have mine. This is thread is about how we as individuals feel right? That is how I feel. If you think I'm tacky that is your deal, but it certainly won't change how I feel.

I think that anyone that hands business cards out to random people has a very clear motive, I will always feel that way.

[thanksgivingmom]

Originally Posted by Tunay4754

You are ascribing to them motives that you don't know whether or not they have. IMO that is tacky and rude.

I vote that the process is tacky no matter WHAT the motives. That's the problem I have with it.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by Tunay4754

You are ascribing to them motives that you don't know whether or not they have. IMO that is tacky and rude.

I don't approve of marketing. Period. I don't care if they leave the card with every Tom, Dick and Harry... though, they didn't leave it with a male, did they? So, Annie, Jane and Mary. I understand that's how some people "find" babies but, well, adoption shouldn't be about "finding" babies for parents. It should be about finding parents for children that need a permanent home. If you want to launch me into that debate, go right ahead. But, just a heads up, you won't change my mind.

[kakuehl]

hmm. That is a question that really hasn't been raised in this conversation... where is the baby and what's best for him/her in all of this?

[belleinblue1978]

Originally Posted by kakuehl

hmm. That is a question that really hasn't been raised in this conversation... where is the baby and what's best for him/her in all of this?

Why would that need to be raised? Baby isn't born yet and mom and dad weren't even considering adoption as they are a married couple, one, and two, they just aren't considering adoption.