[thanksgivingmom]

There used to be fliers up on my campus on random bulletin boards. I never really looked at them or remembered if they were for agencies or individuals - I remember seeing them before my own pregnancy so they certainly didn't interest me at that point, but I sure did think that was odd at the time....

Now I think it's so many things beyond "odd"....

[josh1788smom]

Ewwwww - that's really all I can say. How presumputous, sick, entitled, arrogant, desperate, dispicable can you be????? Yucky! Yucky! Yucky!!

Ok - I guess I have more to say.

It is no one's business whatever the circumstances, and how yucky these people are that thought "fate" brought them to a emom. No wonder they didn't say anything about her pregnancy, etc. they knew they were being bottom feeders. Can they be on a "banned" PAP list.

On the whole College advertising - icky and sad. My OB has told me she has helped college students meet PAPs that were patients. There are several attorneys I know that will handle adoption if the parties find each other on their own - meaning the attorney does not match people. Much better way to go about it in my opinion. I don't want to read some ad of the Barbie and Ken that want to raise my baby - 'cause we all know, it's human nature, when you are trying to catch someone's attention, you put your best foot forward.

[BrandyHagz]

PS: Many thanks to Brandy for riling me up this evening. *beats Brandy*

Great. After yesterday's little funfest, Jenna beats me up today.

I wonder, is this covered by Workers Comp?

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by BrandyHagz

I wonder, is this covered by Workers Comp?

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffft. Doubtful.

Also: I like this guy:

[lahdh4]

I think it is disgusting.
I think it is rude.

I am however, not surprised by it and that makes me sad.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by thanksgivingmom

I can't imagine being a waitress receiving this card and thinking, "Oh! I think so and so is pregnant...maybe these lovely people that just had the club sandwich and fries could adopt her baby!!!" I guess it works for some people, I just wouldn't be a part of it, on any side.

You crack me up. I truly love reading your posts.

It makes me sick too.

[MamaS]

I don't understand the use of the word "entitlement". I don't see PAP's as thinking they are "entitled". I see them as desperate! I know that's how I felt. I saw school friends graduate, get married, and start producing babies -- they even had the gall to complain 'Oh geez, I'm pregnant again!' The news was always full (or so it seemed) of stories of babies abandoned in dumpsters or left on doorsteps. I was told that if I wanted a chance at a domestic newborn I HAD to advertise. I wrote up a resume and sent it to every lawyer I knew, every doctor I knew, every pastor I knew, and every school counselor I knew.
Fast-forward 20 years. My youngest daughter is sitting in jail because she was not convinced that the speed limit was a law, not a suggestion. She calls me (collect) and says "I've made a friend in here who is pregnant and doesn't want the baby but she won't be released in time to get an abortion. So, can you find parents for the baby?" Just the week before I had a nice conversation with my real estate agent's secretary, who had failed at in vitro after several miscarriages. Putting one and two together, a lovely little boy now has a wonderful home. His b-mother sees him several times a year and has straightened out her life and made a better home for her other three children.
So, where is the "entitlement" and what is so evil about networking? Storks don't fly in America and there's nothing but cabbages in the cabbage patch! If you want to be a parent, you have to be proactive!

[SchmennaLeigh]

If you don't see the sense of entitlement by leaving a card for a pregnant woman who is married, well, we obviously have different defintions of appropriate boundaries.

There's a big difference between letting friends or acquaintances introduce you to someone after it has already been discussed and approved by both parties. It is another thing entirely to make assumptions about women/mothers. I'm STILL not buying that this couple left the card just "because." If that had been a male waiter, the card would not have been left behind.

There are appropriate ways to "advertise" or "network," even though the words themselves are crass. This? Was not one of those times and DOES smack of entitlement.

[sstuart]

I guess I am not shocked by anything anymore. I think we have lost our boundaries for just about everything. At 5 months a pregnancy isn't always obvious, but what if she had just been overweight!!! What another slap in the face. Then again it doesn't matter about anyone's feelings anymore. Just matters if you are right!!

[josh1788smom]

I think entitlement comes into play here as - this couple thought they are "entitled" to be in the mix of people this woman may want to consider adopting her child.

A. That is pretty presumptuous because her personal circumstances were unknown to them.

B. The woman is at her place of employment - fate did not make them stop for a cheeseburger just so they could become a mommy and daddy.

C. IF the woman was contemplating adoption, which they wouldn't know because the conversation was never in that context, why would they be "entitled" to be considered - wouldn't she likely use an agency - have homestudies, yada, yada, yada??????

[lonni]

"doesn't want the baby but she won't be released in time to get an abortion" Mama s said








I don't see anyone handing out cards at the prisons, jails and the dumpsters you speak of.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by lonni

I don't see anyone handing out cards at the prisons, jails and the dumpsters you speak of.

*smirk* Good point.

[Synesthesia]

That's kind of seriously throroughly wrong.

[MamaS]

No, advertising is not allowed in jails or prisons. But you can bet DFCS or CPS will be watching the mothers just waiting for those babies to be born. If the mother doesn't have someone outside willing to take the baby they go directly into foster care. Shouldn't these pregnant young women have the right to make plans for their babies even though they are in prison/jail? Maybe if Planned Parenthood or some group were allowed contact with pregnant inmates they would have more options?
Or should they lose all their rights when they are arrested and just become incubators for the state?
SMIRK

[thanksgivingmom]

Originally Posted by MamaS

So, where is the "entitlement" and what is so evil about networking? Storks don't fly in America and there's nothing but cabbages in the cabbage patch! If you want to be a parent, you have to be proactive!

You know what's proactive? Stealing a baby! Or coercing someone to place a baby. Or offering to pay for a baby. All VERY proactive. And all VERY wrong!

Do I think networking is on the same page as some of those other "proactive" actions? Heavens no, so let's not twist my words in case anyone felt so inclined.

Being proactive isn't enough to entitle someone to being a parent in my book. Unfortunately, parenting isn't a right, it's a privalege. A privalege that perhaps that waitress didn't earn according to the couple? Who knows their intention though? I don't, but I know how it would have felt had I received that card, pregnant or not.