[BrandyHagz]

There are fewer things in the Adoption Community more debated than what should and shouldn't be said in the 'introduction letter' commonly referred to as the "Dear Birthmother Letter"

So, I thought I would pose this question to the first/birth mothers on this site - and find out what your letter would say, if you were now hoping to adopt.

I hope we can do this without the 'I'd never adopt, so I'd never write one' replies - if you've got nothing to contribute, that's fine...I am just wondering how those who have been on the other side would write their intro letters.

I've given this a TON of thought and I've ever penned one myself, when we were going down that path...

So - what would yours say?

[chunkmomma1]

My letter would go something like this...
We would like to start of by saying Thank You for considering us to take of the most precious thing that someone could ever offer. We understand that this comes with life time commitment and we would be most delighted to be even a part of this child's life, if you was to Chose us. We are know we could never compare to you but we would do the best to our abilities to give this child everything that this child needs. We would always let he or she know where they came from and that they was loved so much.

okay maybe not those word exactly.
but from me being adopted and a birthmom and a mother, I would not want the letter to formal I would want to see some of their personalities and to be reasurred that my child would be taken well taken care of. And that I was not forgotten.
I feel that a child is the most precious thing in the world, and to be given a chance to raise a child is a blessing.

I am not good at putting words in the right place but me myself I would not adopt unless it was an open adoption. I feel all birth parents should know what is going on in the childs life and they can be helpful at different times.

This is just my opinion and we all know what they say about opinions.

I think a dear birthmom letter should come from the heart and nothing else.
and please do not start of by calling her the birthmom or first mom
that would make me very uncomfortable. I am a person I have a name.

yadyadyad

[Rondidondi]

I think for many of us the first thing would be to take off BIRTHMOTHER. I don't think I need to explain why.

I think I would do a light introduction of myself and the rest of my family. Why I would like to add to my family.
I would defintely explain that this emom is her child's mother too and would love for her to be apart of her child's life.
Gee, this is kinda hard, what would I say?

[Oceans]

What great exercise. Given that DBL’s are pretty much meant to be a 500 word letter marketing yourself and personally remind me of the adoption equivalent to on-line dating where you are hoping to get past the first hurdle and meet f2f, I have to admit mine might sound like everyone else’s. I would also be very upfront about my bmom status.

What I would like to say (from my heart) may be a totally different thing. I want a relationship with them more than anything. I want them to be a part of my family. I want to spend the first few years working on our relationship and building a bond that will carry us through the tough stuff…

I would like to address all the things that would probably scare an emom off because they may not be realizing (yet) how tough OA can be. It would probably sound like I am projecting the negative instead of reinforcing the positive.

Not so good for marketing.

[Gwen72]

I am a birthmother who is waiting to adopt. My "Dear Birthmother " letter started off introducing myself and DH. We talked about our 8 year relationship and large extended family and friends all axiously waiting for a new baby. We talked about how we travel 2 to 3 times a year and our hobbies. I then talked about being a birthmother myself and said I would send pictures and letters and we would do visits. I said her baby would know she loves them and thinks about them everyday. Unfortunately, the agency has no mothers right now so no one has read my letter as of yet.

[Free_to_be_me]

I would definately start mine with "Dear expectant parents" or a simple "Hello." I was pretty turned off when the letters I read started with "Dear Birthmother" because my boyfriend was also involved. He didn't like not being addressed in the letters.

I would also be very open about my reasons for being interested in adoption (I am a birthmom, my boyfriend has a brother who was adopted). I would also address my desire for an open adoption.

I don't know where I would go from there...

[KimEverson]

I actually received a letter & a picture & it was & is the most cherished treasure I own!!! They started off with Kimberly, THANK YOU!!! There were other words to follow and then it ended with we are eternally grateful & Jordan will be too!!! The beginning & ending words were music to my ears!!! That is exactly how I would write mine...from a WONDERFUL example that I have in my possession!!!!!!