[Jackiejdajda]

Dian Patrice Wellfare 1951-2008

Di Wellfare passed away this month.. I did not learn about this till last nite when I did my occasional download of alt.adoption..
She and I have corresponded publicly for years.. she taught me a lot and she made me angry at times..
When she first arrived on alt.adoption in the late nineties.. I disagreed with her.. told her she was wrong.. spent time telling her why she was wrong.. and then when I went into reunion with my bson I got angry like she was angry.. and I agreed with her.. and we argued points that I needed to look at and work out..
And then I changed again.. and took myself away from alt.adoption in 2003 and came here to adoption.com.. I wanted to be in a place where I could learn about how adoption affected adoptive parents and adoptees..

The main issue I had with her and Origins was the use (the banning) of the term birthmother.. We parted ways with that..

The link will tell you about what she has done in the adoption world.. and even tho I do not agree with some of the things she did.. I will miss her.. I will miss knowing she is working away at what she thought needed to be worked on..

Rest in peace Di.. rest in peace..

Jackie

[lonni]

GULP-
I knew she had health struggles in recent years, but am shocked to hear this. She opened many eyes and ruffled a few feathers in the process. Now her book will never be published, I guess? Wow, so sad. May she rest now.

[Jackiejdajda]

lonni

I knew she had health struggles in recent years, but am shocked to hear this. She opened many eyes and ruffled a few feathers in the process. Now her book will never be published, I guess? Wow, so sad. May she rest now.

She was written up in a book.. I bought that book..
Something about adoption in Australia.. and how she was working toward change...

I am deeply affected by her passing..

Jackie

[lonni]

I only went to altA 2-3 times and never even knew it existed until Di sent me there. It was not my cup of tea. Of course, I never thought I would be here on A.com either, but followed Sass.(who abandoned me LOL)
;~))

[Jackiejdajda]

I did a search for posts around the time I started leaving aa.. in 2003.. I started posting there in 1997..
Google seems to be having troubles today but I found this on the search.. area..

Baby classifieds Group: alt.adoption Sometimes you just have to move on. To what? To a place of acceptance.
IMO acceptance lies in the understanding of what the other is going through..
Has Di accepted what the aparents are going through and therefore let go of her
anger regarding the picture? I was discussing my thoughts and feelings about reunion. ...
May 29 2002 by Jackie C - 3334 messages - 54 authors

I think that thread was a classic.. Baby classifieds..

And I can see by my writing that I was accepting.. stuff..
When I first went into reunion and there were long silences with bson I could accept nothing.. and Di understood my anger.. and helped..
Then I changed.. I got sick of being angry..

Interesting that was 2002..

Jackie

[luvmylittlegirls]

I truly hope she has finally found her peace. I think what she went through with losing her son was horrible and I honestly feel for her. But, on a different group she behaved downright hatefully, delighted in calling parents through adoption horrible names and was seemingly incapable of considering any view besides her own.

I am truly very, very sorry for her family's loss and the grief that they are surely experiencing now, but I personally will not miss her.

And now I am officially the meanest person on the forums.

[lonni]

Originally Posted by luvmylittlegirls

I truly hope she has finally found her peace. I think what she went through with losing her son was horrible and I honestly feel for her. But, on a different group she behaved downright hatefully, delighted in calling parents through adoption horrible names and was seemingly incapable of considering any view besides her own.

I am truly very, very sorry for her family's loss and the grief that they are surely experiencing now, but I personally will not miss her.

And now I am officially the meanest person on the
forums.

Di had many close friends that were adoptive parents, including me. However I always admired her ability to swiftly spot and challenge anyone who was looking down their nose at natural Mothers. I don't think bringing your personal forum wars to her death notice is very appropriate even if you were called out by her. She has a son ,sister, Mother who are all inconsolable as this is the second child her Mother has lost especially. You can say you are the meanest person on the forum(and you did write that in your post) if it gives you a thrill on the backs of their grief, but I offer my support and sympathy to her family in this terrible time.

[luvmylittlegirls]

Originally Posted by lonni

Di had many close friends that were adoptive parents, including me. However I always admired her ability to swiftly spot and challenge anyone who was looking down their nose at natural Mothers. I don't think bringing your personal forum wars to her death notice is very appropriate even if you were called out by her. She has a son ,sister, Mother who are all inconsolable as this is the second child her Mother has lost especially. You can say you are the meanest person on the forum(and you did write that in your post) if it gives you a thrill on the backs of their grief, but I offer my support and sympathy to her family in this terrible time.

You're right. Although my personal experiences with her very, very negative and I experienced her in a certain way (described in my earlier post) I should have kept my mouth shut. I should have just ignored this thread altogether. I apologize for any pain my post caused to anyone.