[CBPRP]

I was reunited with my (relinquished child) when she was about 33 yo.
The reunion went well and it was a joy to meet her and her family and my grandson.
As the years have gone by I realized I do not like her. If I meet her at work we would be pleasant and may go out to lunch once in a while but never be friends, if that makes sense.
I grimus when we see each other and I do get testy on occasion. I try to like her but she is so foreign to me.
The woman is a drama queen and cries about everything. She is now 44 and acts like she is three most of the time.
I am at loss. I cannot believe she is really my child. She is nothing like my other children, nothing. She does not look like me or have any of my personality.
Honestly, does anyone one at all have any advice.
If I never saw her again I would feel nothing. I feel horrible about that but that is how I feel.
Any advice at all would be fantastic.

[SuddenlySusan]

I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice to offer, but I do have some questions...

Have you read Primal Wound, or any other literature which discusses issues that adopted people may be left with due to loss and separation? Educating yourself may help you to understand why your daughter has the issues that she appears to have. Has she received therapy for these issues? Would you feel closer to her if she weren't a "drama queen?" When you get "testy" what does that mean? Have you received any therapy regarding your own issues?

Just some things to think about...

Peace,
Taylor

[Jackiejdajda]

CBPRP

As the years have gone by I realized I do not like her. If I meet her at work we would be pleasant and may go out to lunch once in a while but never be friends, if that makes sense.
I grimus when we see each other and I do get testy on occasion. I try to like her but she is so foreign to me.

When I think of my bson there are lots and lots of issues in my mind and heart..
I end up avoiding.. not wanting... and heading in the other direction in my thinking.

It happened (I keep thinking) and I can not change what happened.. so what I need to do is just get on with it..
Your birthdaughter may have issues as Taylor writes and you as well may have issues.. but IMO all these issues come with the territory..

The perfect reunion.. what a thing to contemplate.. I did not get one.. you obviously did not get one..
Fantasy.. and fact.. what we want and what we get..

Accept what we cannot change and do not feel guilt.. ha.. what a thing to contemplate..

Jackie

[lvnlfe]

I am a BMom in reunion too. It is difficult to get to know our grown children, but I feel patience is the key. Compasion, and acceptance is also another key element. Maybe gently ask your daughter why she is so emotional, and it is possible that she is looking for acceptance from you too. It sounds like she and you both could use counseling. The emotional rollercoaster can take it's toll at times.

Just my thoughts!!! I wish you the best of luck.