[Oceans]

Oh Tammy - I am soooo sorry. You deserve to be angry. Especially when you weren't even given the choice to call him again so soon!! I wish I had the words for you....

[quantum]

Tammy that is way out of line for your investigator!!!
No wonder you're upset!!!

*hugs*

[sstuart]

(((Tammy)))

[RavenSong]

Oh, Tammy, I'm so sorry your son doesn't want any contact right now. He's only 21 y/o though, so he very well change his mind in the future. I've heard a lot of adoptees, especially males, say that they weren't ready for reunion until their 30's.

I can't understand why your investigator thought she should contact him again after he had said no the first time. It seems unethical to me that you weren't informed before the fact. I hope you gave her a piece of your mind.

Hang in there. As birthmothers, I think we all learn patience, often to a ridiculous degree. But it's all we have. Hugs to you, my friend...

[Mrs_Tammy94]

Thanks guys for your support....It has been really hard to get through but just when I thought I was coming to an exceptance.....She called again.....I still want to scream....I have such a problem with Indiana laws...How does one person get to make these decisions?????? I think that is the hardest to live with(the investigator). I feel like I am at her mercy. She has everything in front of her and I have to believe everything she says. I just almost let her have a piece of my mind but I didn't because I was afraid if he would call her back in the future she could or would choose not to call me. What a position she has me in. I just hate it.!!!!!!!!!

[Oceans]

Tammy - I think it just hit me but do you even have a name of your son? ANY info at all?

[Jackiejdajda]

He again tells her....No! I have no need for anything.....I don't want contact....He then asked if that is weid....do other people want contact? She says "NO" that you are intitled to whatever you want. WOW! Then she asks me to hold a minute.....someone was calling on the other line......(I had this way out feeling it had to do with me).....well it did....it was the adoptive mother....she was upset....asking where this was going to end...WOW!!!!!!!!!! the adoptive mother said he doesn't want contact and after all he is my son......

The adoptive mother does not want contact.. very very clear..

He may change.. he will leave home and will make his own decisions at some point..
As Raven says.. patience..

Jackie

[lahdh4]

(((Tammy)))

[Mrs_Tammy94]

Originally Posted by Oceans

Tammy - I think it just hit me but do you even have a name of your son? ANY info at all?

I don't have any information but his name I gave him at birth and date of birth. I do know from the investigator that his name was change.

[Oceans]

((((Tammy)))) I can not hug you enough!! That is so hard!

[thanksgivingmom]

(((((tammy)))))

[Mrs_Tammy94]

Patience.....I am working at it....I feel though this is the hardest lesson on patience I will ever have to endure.

Thank you guys for all your support...((((((EVERYONE)))))