[kakuehl]

Janny, I have to admit that sometimes when I read what some of you have gone through with your birth children... I want to tell stories about the ones I've raised... (Come to think of it, I guess I have, LOL)

I've said frequently that one of the real positives of my reunion with D is watching the siblings build their relationships. My daughter and D are frequently at each other's homes (they live about 30 minutes apart). Both have small children and the cousins love each other (except when they want the same toy). The first thing that IZ said to me when I arrived at D's for a birthday party was "where is AJ" (She's 2, he's 3).

That's not to say their relationships are perfect! D has checked with me occasionally to make sure it's not his presence that has set J off. (Answer, No - J's being J!) Basically they act like siblings which I love! I think D's amom has gradually gotten used to the fact that we are in D's life. (She commented once that she couldn't see why he wanted any siblings other than the two he already had.) D definitely acts like older brother... fun for me to watch, but not always received well (by any of his 3 sisters!)

My daughter by the way insists that I was a good parent...had you asked her when she was 16, she might not have said that though!

[Jannyroo]

Originally Posted by kakuehl

Janny, I have to admit that sometimes when I read what some of you have gone through with your birth children... I want to tell stories about the ones I've raised... (Come to think of it, I guess I have, LOL)

I've said frequently that one of the real positives of my reunion with D is watching the siblings build their relationships....That's not to say their relationships are perfect!

Kathy, I think you are at a place that most bmothers would envy to be honest. Not that I'm wishing your current challenges upon you! no sir! But I chuckle because where you are at now, its very much what Kune says, you once were wishing to be at this stage LOL!!!

I know that I feel very very frustrated with my son. 19 months into reunion and no further forwards in some ways. The bond is there and he is enjoying the contact I guess, but no way ready for another F2F or more regular 'visits' or time together. By the way I only have the one! I didn't have any more children.

Take care and rejoice in the blessings of having their regular spats! (LOL) - I wish I could be more active in my sons life rather than relegated to emails and an occasional phone call!!! but then, when it happens, I'll have some other challenge to face, just like you are, so only kiddin'. Its nice to see you have a family life, spats and all, I don't have family life like that, and there is a certain closet sadness... Love & Hugs, Janny

[kakuehl]

Janny,

I do hear that closet sadness. I really am mostly content in my relationship with D and his family (like many of us I seem to find it hard to be completely happy). I feel incredibly blessed actually. I just try to keep myself out of the middle of the spats! What I do love is the fact that they continue to maintain contact, even when they disagree.

What I was saying was that while my reunion with D has been easy (why do I keep waiting for the shoe to drop, LOL), some of the experiences I had with my "raised" children growing up, is very similar to what many of you have faced with your relinquished children. (Post-reunion, I do wonder about how relinquishment of D affected my ablility to parent my other two...)

Ah, well. I do hope your son is soon ready to see you again and that he gets his life together.