[Karen920]

Hello,

I recently found out I was pregnant, pill pregnancy, so needless to say I am pretty far along and didn't really know it since I have been having periods.

Anway, I am wondering about the father's rights. I was in a 3 year relationship that ended in early June (conception early May). The father was not physically abusive, but for the last few months of the relationship there was lots of screaming fights. Also, I belive that he is on the edge of alcoholism, but won't admit it. We never lived together, and he still does not know that I am pregnant. I was hoping to adopt the baby with out having to notify him. I know that it varies by state (I live in NY) but I was wondering if anyone had any insight into this.

Thanks for your input,
Karen920

[Rondidondi]

Karen-You really should rethink not letting the father know. He truely has the right to know.
Alcholism or not-it is his child too.
I know you are prpbably overwelmed with emotions right now. Explore ALL your options. AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!!

[SchmennaLeigh]

Your child has a right to know his/her biological history. To set out a child in life with such a deception cannot bode well for future contact.

Unfortunately, New York doesn't seem to care much about the emotional and medical well-being of adoptees when it comes to this matter. Here's New York law:

Who Must Consent to an Adoption
Citation: Dom. Rel. Law §§ 111; 113
Consent to adoption shall be required from the following persons or entities:

• The parents or surviving parent, whether adult or minor, of a child conceived or born in wedlock
• The mother, whether adult or minor, of a child born out of wedlock
• The father, whether adult or minor, of a child born out-of-wedlock and placed with the adoptive parents more than 6 months after birth, but only if such father shall have maintained substantial and continuous or repeated contact with the child
• The father, whether adult or minor, of a child born out-of-wedlock and placed with the adoptive parents less than 6 months after birth, but only if the father:
  • Openly lived with the child or the child's mother for a continuous period of 6 months immediately preceding the placement of the child for adoption
  • Openly held himself out to be the father of such child during such period
  • Paid a fair and reasonable sum, in accordance with his means, for the medical, hospital, and nursing expenses incurred in connection with the mother's pregnancy or with the birth of the child
• Any person or authorized agency having lawful custody of the adoptive child

An authorized agency may consent to the adoption of a minor whose custody and guardianship has been transferred to such agency.

Age When Consent of Adoptee is Considered or Required
Citation: Dom. Rel. Law § 111
Consent to adoption shall be required of the adoptive child who is age 14 or older, unless the judge or surrogate in his discretion dispenses with such consent.

When Parental Consent is not Needed
Citation: Dom. Rel. Law § 111
Consent shall not be required of a parent or of any other person having custody of the child:

• Who evinces an intent to forego his or her parental or custodial rights and obligations as manifested by his or her failure for a period of 6 months to visit the child and communicate with the child or person having legal custody of the child, although able to do so
• Who has surrendered the child to an authorized agency
• For whose child a guardian has been appointed
• Who, by reason of mental illness or mental retardation, is presently and for the foreseeable future unable to provide proper care for the child
• Who has executed an instrument, that shall be irrevocable, denying the paternity of the child

When Consent Can Be Executed
Citation:

This issue is not addressed in the statutes reviewed.

How Consent Must Be Executed
Citation: Dom. Rel. § 115-b; Soc. Serv. Law. § 384
A consent to adoption executed by a person who is in foster care shall only be executed before a judge of the family court.A consent to a private placement adoption may be executed or acknowledged before any judge or surrogate in this State having jurisdiction over adoption proceedings. Such consent shall state that it is irrevocable upon such execution or acknowledgment.
At the time that a parent appears before a judge or surrogate to execute or acknowledge a consent to adoption, the judge or surrogate shall inform such parent of the consequences of such act, including informing such parent of the right to be represented by legal counsel of the parent's own choosing and of the right to obtain supportive counseling. The judge or surrogate shall give such parent a copy of such consent upon the execution thereof.
In any case where a consent is not executed or acknowledged before a judge or surrogate, such consent shall be executed or acknowledged before a notary public or other officer authorized to take proof of deeds. A copy of such consent shall be given to such parent upon the execution thereof.

Revocation of Consent
Citation: Dom. Rel. § 115-b
A judicial consent shall state that it is irrevocable upon such execution or acknowledgment.
In an extrajudicial consents, such consent shall become irrevocable 45 days after the execution of the consent unless written notice of revocation thereof is received by the court in which the adoption proceeding is to be commenced within the 45 days. The notice of revocation shall be given effect only if the adoptive parents fail to oppose such revocation, or, if they oppose such revocation and the court has determined that the best interests of the child will be served by giving force and effect to such revocation.
Nothing contained in this section shall bar actions or proceedings brought on the ground of fraud, duress, or coercion in the execution of an adoption consent.

Provided via the State Statute Search.

[Scarlet Moon 13]

Originally Posted by Karen920

Hello,

I recently found out I was pregnant, pill pregnancy, so needless to say I am pretty far along and didn't really know it since I have been having periods.

Anway, I am wondering about the father's rights. I was in a 3 year relationship that ended in early June (conception early May). The father was not physically abusive, but for the last few months of the relationship there was lots of screaming fights. Also, I belive that he is on the edge of alcoholism, but won't admit it. We never lived together, and he still does not know that I am pregnant. I was hoping to adopt the baby with out having to notify him. I know that it varies by state (I live in NY) but I was wondering if anyone had any insight into this.

Thanks for your input,
Karen920

Even if your ex doesn't have much legal rights in your state he was moral rights.

The child has as much rights once it is born to know his/her father.

There are agency's and adoptive parents who will insist on knowing. For the childs sake, to protect themselves from losing the child should the father step up and want his child.

You need to tell him. Right now the ball is in your court, but once the child is born, he/she has the right to know and be known by the father, as you know the child.

[mommaj2007]

my experaince is i had to have the fathers permision. and that was in iowa

[mommaj2007]

my experence is that the father had to sign his rights away before i could follow throgh with the adoption. and that was in iowa. and that was 11 yrs ago