[Tigger27]

Out of curiosity, did you tell your parents and family when you were pregnant? Did they or do they know about your pregnancy and that you placed your child/children for adoption?

Do you think it helped you that your parents and/or family knew or not? If your parents and/or family didn't know...do they know now and do you think it would have helped to tell them or not?

I was just wondering how many told their parents and/or families about the pregnancy and adoption and how that affected their experience or how that affected their relationships with their parents and/or family?

Please discuss and remember to be respectful .

[SchmennaLeigh]

Yes.

Unfortunately, our communication problems actually lead to parts of the placement (not the whole reason but were a contributing factor). We've forgiven each other for those misunderstandings.

[Found at last]

My parents knew that I had surrendered my daughter.

My mother never respected me. Years later, she told me that she couldn't believe that I had surrendered my daughter. She thought that I was a weak-willed person. After the adoption, she saw me as a stronger person than she had seen before. More like her, I guess. NOT!!!

My dad didn't mention anything about the adoption. When my daughter found me, my dad was one of the first that I called about her. Sometimes I wonder why I called him. Did he want to know about her? He seemed happy for me, but was he happy for himself?

My siblings were too young at the time of the adoption, but they were very happy for me when my daughter found me.

[thanksgivingmom]

My parents did not know about the pregnancy, so did not know about her placement.

They still don't know.

I hope someday I will be able to tell them. I will hopefully be able to find the strength to do it for DD.

I have no desire to tell them though. I don't want it to change how they look at me, how they treat me, what they think of me. I do completely realize this is entirely unhealthy and that theoretically they could support me, but I truly honestly feel they will not understand what I did, nor will they (my mother specifically) forgive me for placing her grandchild.

[lahdh4]

Nope. Noone knew then and they still don't. I don't think I will tell them. I really don't know.

[Mommy24]

No one knew of my pregnancy except for the birth father. Neither of us told our families, and I do believe the outcome would have been much different had we chosen to tell someone. That said, I did tell my mom 2 months after he was born. She was very upset that I had not come to her. Birthfather told his brother around the same time, after that it just became easier to tell everyone. Birth father's mom has never been supportive, asks occasionally about him but really shows little interest in how he is. My mom is always happy to hear about him but will not bring it up, I think she feels like it will upset me, since things are not as they were suppose to be.

[keds]

Both mine and bdad's family knew. My parents allowed me to stay at home, offered to let me "keep" my bson, although I didn't believe it, and everyone made me feel, and continues to make me feel like I'm worthless. Of course, that's only when I let them. I know have not much to do with any of them if I can help it. I will not share our reunion and, unless my bson asked, I will never introduce them to him.

[eliza4]

my family did not know about the pregnancy, my daughter or the placement. i was far away at college...a good reason. her father knew i was pregnant...though now he'll say he didn't know until i was very far in to the pregnancy...which isn't true...he knew from the getgo. we played a fantastic game of denial. i told my sister 3 months post birth and adoption...then i depended on my friends and boyfriends for support. after having DD and her mom look for me and after meeting them....i decided that i could not let my children lie for me...it's not their fault that i didn't tell my family about their big sister...i told my parents earlier this year...and i broke a lot of hearts and learned that i could've turned to my mother...she wished she could've been there to help me...i've heard so many people remark how strong i was to do that by myself...though i don't think of myself as strong. DD is no longer hidden and everything is out in the open...and my life could've been different if i had told my family...but i'm learning that stuff happens for a reason.

[bromanchik]

I told everyone. Right away. (Big surprise! How in the world could I have kept something like that a secret? I have the biggest mouth in the world when it comes to personal information.) I had a lot of support that way. I think it is why I still feel it was the right decision. I knew everything that would be available to me.

BTW, today is Matt's 23rd birthday. He is supposed to come over for dinner and then a Tiger game. He was sick on Monday though, so I don't know if it will happen. Send a prayer or good vibes out into the universe. Birthdays are still so hard for me, but seeing him would really be nice.

[taramayrn]

Yes my family knew and they were a great support system.

[sstuart]

I was pregnant for 9 months and told no one. It helped that I was at college, but when I went to the hospital to deliver they called my mom(even though I was 19) My immediate family knows and several close friends. My DH knows but I have not told my boys who are 9 and 4. If I meet her soon I will. Otherwise I will probalby wait until they are preteens. S

[thanksgivingmom]

Brenda, Good luck with his birthday! I hope you are able to get together with him ((((hugs))))

[SchmennaLeigh]

Brenda; Happy Birthday to your son!!!

[Rifilanna]

My parents knew--one of the worst dumbest decisions of my life was to tell them. My brother knew, he was so happy when dd was born. Oh, everyone knew, I can't keep my mouth shut.

Pam

[browneyes0707]

My family did not know. My mom heard a rumor that I was pregnant, but I was away at college and not very big, so I played the deny deny deny game. In a way I was fine and still am fine with it, I can look back on my choice and know it was not influenced by anyone else. I was so scared of disappointing my parents.

Now I do wish I had their support, since I was so young. I honestly don't know what they would have wanted me to do, but I know they would have stood by me. And now that I have to think about telling them, I realize that not only will they be disappointed that I was pregnant, but that I lied and kept it a secret. Which is a hard burden to bear.

Happy b-day to your son Brenda