[OhSerena]

I'm new here and just thought I would introduce myself a bit. I am 23 years old, currently living in SC, wiht my two youngest children and their father (we have been together for 5 years now.) My secoind daughter is almost 3 years old, and my son is 3 months old. I have birth to my first daughter when I was 16, and placed her with a family that I chose. They happen to live one county over, but I'm not supposed to know that. Anyway, the family sent me letters and pictures in the mail fairly often for the first three years of her life. Then when I became pregnant with my second daughter in 2004, I wrote them and told them, and requested some more pictures. That was the last time I heard anything form them... I don't know what happened. I spoke to the adoption counselor (whom the family and i communicate through), and she said she has tried contacting them, but that they haven't returned the calls. It's as if they have just completely cut off all contact. I have sent letter after letter, and even pictures, and still have heard nothing.
I tend to be a worrier, so now I'm wondering if they picked up and moved away, or if they are even okay...When I chose them to raise my daughter, we all agreed (verbally) that we would stay in touch and exchange pictures at least a few times a year (through the counselor). So I was just wondering if this is happening to anyone else out there? And is there anything atall I can do about it? I just want to know that she's doing well, and happy. And it wouldn't kill them to send me a photo once in awhile either. Anyhow, sorry for such a long post. Looking forward to getting to know you all!

[quantum]

Welcome Serena! I'm sure you'll find many other birthmothers here who've encountered problems in open and semi-open adoptions.

I'm from the closed adoption era, in reunion now with my 22 year old son.
I've gotten incredible support and advice here from these ladies! I hope I can help do the same for you!

[Mommy24]

Hi Serena and welcome to the forums! Unfortunately I know your pain all to well. I placed my son for adoption in 1990 and for 7 years we had a semi-open adoption. We exchanged pictures and letters through the adoption agency for the first 7 years. Long story short, the agency closed, my son's parents opened a P.O.box for me to send my letters and pics to and I gave them my home adddress. I sent my letters only to have them returned to me and to find out that the P.O.Box had been closed for non-payment. I can not express how deeply devestated I was. There were a multitude of reasons that this concerned me, the obvious that I may never know again how my son was doing but more than that, in the last letter I received from them they were driving to the mountains for vacation the next week. I had the worst feeling that something tragic had happen and I spent the next 9 years worrying and wondering. I have recently found them through the help of a search angel, though I am still awaiting contact from his mom I do know that he is alive and well!! I am truly sorry that you are experiencing this, it is never easy to deal with broken promises. I would continue to try and contact them and in the meantime, stay strong and positive. It is hard not knowing what is going on, in my case my son's a-dad passed away during those first few years of no contact and I "think" that may have brought on some of the "loss of contact" it doesn't excuse it in my mind, but I do understand better now.

PM me if I can help in any way

[Jackiejdajda]

Hello Serena..

I am also from the closed era.. and I can not help with what you are going through..

I just want to say hello..

Jackie

[InBlindFaith]

Welcome Serena.

I placed DD in a closed adoption 19 years ago. You will find alot of support here. I know it's difficult, but you are not alone.

As far as doing something about it...I do not think there is anything you can do legally. My best recommendation is to stay in touch with the Counselor at the Agency. Even though my adoption was closed I stayed in touch with mine, she became my "touchstone" through the years. I kept mine updated with everything going on (addresses, numbers, medical, etc), I even tell her little tidbits of non-adoption related stuff.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Unfortunately, it happens more often than agencies warn expectant mothers considering adoption about... far too often.

I'm sorry to hear that you've been wronged in this way. I know you'll find many compassionate souls here on the forums.

[OhSerena]

Thanks to all of you for making me feel welcome here!

[bromanchik]

Do you know their names? I would try to contact them privately.