[jordana]

Hello,
My name is jordana and I gave up my son for adoption in 1991. I picked an open adoption, and up until a few years ago all was going very well. Now he is sixteen and is calling and asking to come live with us now. Does anyone know if that is legal? I told him that I would love to have him come here, but I didn't know if it was legal. I have tried looking on the internet, but can't find anything.
Jordana

[SchmennaLeigh]

If his parents allow it, it's legal. Otherwise, not so much.

Have you contacted his family and told them about his phone calls and requests? If not, you need to do so for your son's benefit. There might be bigger issues that you are not aware of and he may need more help than just an escape route. Open communication between parents is key for handling issue like this one.

[jordana]

The amom refuses to talk to us since he was in some big trouble a couple years ago. She seems to think that he did what he did because of us I guess. We had not heard from him in over two years, and we did not try to contact as per her wishes. The adad has been giving him the info, even as to how to contact us. I did try to tell him that I think that she loves him very much but that maybe she is just overwhelmed still by what happened a few years ago. He says they have been fighting over him coming to even see us, and he thinks she is trying to keep him from us. I really feel stuck. I want to help him, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her, even though the adad has said that what he has said is true.

[mom2behappy]

this is just my oppinion but i think you are wrong in telling your son you would love for him to come live with you, you gave him up for adoption and that means he now has a different legal parent, he is still a minor @ 16. when you gave him up for adoption it wasnt until you felt like you could deal with parenting. it was a life long commitment i think what you should have did was be honest with your son and told him that his parents had legal custody of him and to try and work whatever issues that may or may not have been causing him to want to leave home with his parents. i think it is wrong for a first mother to encourage a minor child they gave up for adoption to want to leave home before he/sh becomes a legal adult. jmho