[kelceesmom]

I wonder sometimes what bparents would think if they are in an open adoption and found out that the adoptive parents of the child they had were to get a divorce?

Would you then regret your decision to have placed with them?

Would you be so angry with them you wouldn't want to continue a relationship with them?

No one is perfect and unfortunately it does happen even in the best of marriages. I just wonder sometimes.

[InBlindFaith]

My adoption was closed so I'm not sure I can give you the answers you are looking for.

If I found out DD's parents divorced I would probably be a little upset at first, but I would get over it. Divorce is too common nowadays. My concern would be how it was handled with the child. Are you explaining to the child that Mommy and Daddy love them very much and they are divorcing because they couldn't get along? The divorce has nothing to do with the child?

I think it is very important to make sure the child understands the divorce is not because of them and they understand that both parents love them. If this was explained then as a birthmother I would be okay. My fantasy of a perfect family would be a little tarnished, but I would be understanding.

Did that make sense????

[BrandyHagz]

No, I wouldn't be upset. Some people just need to get a divorce. It's better for the kid(s). It damages kids a great deal to live in a household where the parents are constantly at battle with each other or distant and unloving.

[loveccl]

My 2 cents...

In my case I found out the couple had divorced by being contacted by the man the amom cheated on the adad with. I didn't know him but he told me him and the amom had a long love affair and then sent me a pic of him. Lets just say he was fabio's ugly cousin he even had his shirt totally open in the pic. Honestly this was one of the worst ways to ever find out. All those dreams I had of stability for my son shattered. He gave me a gift pics of my son and the name of the Amom's sister. The sister only half likes my amom, but I am sure loves her...she also let me know stuff. At this point the Aparents fight non-stop and spread rumors about each other all over thier very small town. Its a ton of chaos for my son. Last night I got am email saying my son wanted to know about me. It was then that I told my fiance' that I was almost happy that the Aparent were not perfect that he was not sheltered that he was becomming his own strong self and with that wanting to know pieces of me. My lil brother also given up had the perfect aparents...no one could ever break thru those walls. I guess its my hope that my son will grow up strong and because of the chaos seek to me a little easier than he would have if it was the fairy tale I wanted. You might think that selfish...but ....

To answer your question...get a divorce or not from what I know its always hard on kids adopted or not. Don't be a bit surprised if the child seeks what they can only hope is a stable cozy place. That might be in thier best friends parents or a family friend or just maybe in the birthparents.

Loveccl