[Sarah1974]

Ok... I'm an adoptee. In March I befriended a lady at work which I later found out is a birthmother.

In the past few months she keeps telling me her story of why she gave up her son. (she was addicted to drugs, a family friend adopted her son at the age 3-6months, she says it was an open adoption but she didn't see him till he was 5years old for the first time), anyhoo....
she knows where he lives (birthmother's hometown), has seen pics of him from myspace and she found an email address to him. Mind you, her birthson is only 15years old.

Well, she sent him an email stating who she was and where she stays and her number to be reached. He never replied. She kept thinking he never recieved the email. Everyone else was keeping her hopes up too that he didn't recieve it, I on the other hand told her that he could of gotten it but either doesn't know how to reply or just doesn't. want to. But she kept wishing and thinking the best that he just hasn't gotten it yet.

I was reading this book ( Adoption Healing ) to help me with my rejection of my birthmother. I offered it to her to read because I felt that it expressed that an adoptee does go through issues and that they may or may not want to reunite. I thought it would be good for her to read.

Well, today she sends me an email that she sent to his mother (adoptive mother).... I was shocked. Stating that she knows her son needs her, and that she felt like she needed to explain to him why she gave him up and etc. She also ordered his mother this book so that her son would read it.
When I first read the email she wrote I was sickened. And very sad for the mother and her son.

The mother did respond and told my friend that their son knows all about her, knows her family, basically his parents didn't keep anything from him about him being adopted. She even stated that she has told her son that when he was ready to contact her she would be there for support. And get this, he did receive her email but decided not to respond.

Now my friend is dealing with the rejection. Not sure if she's upset with me, but she's mad about the book I gave her saying it lead her to believe that her birthson NEEDED her... but the book in no way gives that impression.

But I wanted to know from all parties how you would feel to have received this email or if you are a birthmother, would you of handled it the same way.