[Tigger27]

Should expectant parents be required by law to have counseling before and or after they relinquish their rights?

What are your thoughts on this? Please vote on the poll and discuss.

Along with this, did you as a birthparent/expectant parent participate in counseling and did you feel you benefitted from the counseling?

[SchmennaLeigh]

I, of course, would say yes. That said, you run into all kinds of problems with enforcing something like this. Your less than ethical agencies will simply want to provide counseling from "in house" to help them save money. I am of the firm belief that counseling needs to come from an impartial third party, not affiliated with the agency or the potential adoptive family(ies). The problem with that comes with funding of such a thing, especially when you factor in my belief that the adoptive family should not be paying for expectant parent expenses. So, even though I know, in my heart and mind, that expectant parents could benefit, TREMENDOUSLY, from such a thing, I don't know how to properly employ the idea.

All that said, my "counseling" was offered by someone without a degree in the field who worked for the agency and was actually also the "contact" for the adoptive parents. I found out, after the fact, that everything I said in supposed confidence was turned around and reported to the adoptive family. THAT is why the impartial third party is so DESPERATELY needed.

[Free_to_be_me]

I'm a huge advocate for counseling, particularly good counseling, but I don't think it should be mandatory. There are already so many barriers in place that make it difficult for a women to place her baby for adoption that I don't feel it should be made more difficult. I don't believe that counseling does any good if the person recieving it isn't interested in it.

Maybe it should be mandatory that it is offered, but I believe it should be a free option, not a requirement.

[lahdh4]

I say yes but I am with Jenna on trying to make it mandatory. The agency I used does offer both pre and post placement counseling but because of Supergirl and her wanting to start life early I was unable to get some but have gotten post placement counseling and continue to go to this day.

[bromanchik]

I think they should have both counseling and education. They need to be able to make an informed choice. I do a training for SW who work in adoption. I start by asking to see the education/information they give the adopting parents and the information they give expecting parents. The difference is pretty horrendous.

[thanksgivingmom]

I put this on another thread of the same topic, so I'll paste it here too:

I take a little bit of issue with the idea of "requiring" counseling. If it's required is it the agency that makes sure this requirement is fulfilled? If so, I worry...because those eparents that have medical insurance and/or can affor thier own counseling might have a chance at it being unbiased.

HOWEVER, if the agency could recommend thier own counselor provided the eparents not be able to get the required counseling, I worry that any "help" would be biased. Coming from an adoption agency, of course the goal of the agency is for adoption.

This very well may not be for ALL agencies, so if you have a great one, excellent! But if even one agency used a biased counselor as part of the eparent requirement it would be too many in my opinion...

[spitzlvr]

I think I misunderstood this question - are you referring to ALL expectant parents, or only parents that are debating relinquishment?

[krystabelle]

Here's why I'm opposed to any law requiring pre and post adoption counseling for expectant parents.

I do not think it is the job of any government at ANY level to tell an expectant parent that they should have counseling. I don't think the government at any level will provide good, unbiased counseling.

Having said that, I think counseling for an expectant parent is needed. And should an expectant parent decide to relinquish his/her child, they should receive counseling after the placement.

I don't think the change that's needed is going to be brought about by mandating counseling. I think it can be brought about by changing the way adoption agencies operate. Obviously, things are very biased in most organizations. I hope this can be brought to their attention and changed without having any level of government stepping in to make the needed changes. I doubt it, but I think that is an approach that needs to be completely exhausted before government steps in taking more control of the adoption process.

I hope ya'll realize that if they should pass such a law that would mandate counseling, they'll most more than likely pick which counselors can be gone to...which I'll put money on will be social workers. In my opinion, not all of them are qualified to work with expectant parents. They need to be brought up to speed on that if counseling is made law.

It's not the law that needs to be fixed. It's not government that needs to step in. It's those of us who have gone through adoptions (on all sides of the triad) who need to work with the adoption agencies and adoption attorneys and healthcare providers and social workers and tell our stories and show them why those changes must be made. Then participate in making those changes.

It's not the government's job. It's ours.

[Rifilanna]

I would hate the see the federal government involved in this, oh, but since they are due to the adoption tax rebate, how about a rider?

How about agecies/facilitators being required to offer counselling, at no cost to the bparent/eparent. No one has to accept. Perhaps available to any parent whose child is being adopted into the US or by a US couple? Maybe, ten sessions, that need to be used with in 3 years.

I wish I had been handed a mental health facts/stats sheet, both for the effects on my baby and myself. That could be very cost effective.

[katlyn]

I believe that counseling was a huge part of my getting through the "trauma" I suffered after relinquishing my DD. I do not however feel that it should be a law. Who would pay for this mandatory counseling, if by chance the birth parents could not? I know in my case that I was unable to pay for counseling, I just happened upon a wonderful woman who only charged what I could afford and I saw her for two yrs. She was then and will always have a place in my heart and in my life, she is the reason I am somewhat sane today . I still keep in touch with her and it has been 21yrs now.