[SchmennaLeigh]

As a birth parent, what title do you prefer? If you select other, please, for the love of Pete, tell us what that title is. Furthermore, please feel free to discuss your answer or the results on the thread.

Obviously, this is a poll FOR birth parents however the discussion itself is open to all AS LONG as discussion remains respectful to each individual's personal preference as to what they prefer to be called.

[InBlindFaith]

I'm good with Birth Mom, Roni, Hey You, whatever.

[taramayrn]

I voted for birthparent. I call myself that, however I don't prefer it over the others.

[browneyes0707]

Birthmother works for me. I'm not a big fan of Tummy Mommy myself and Real Mom always bothered me too (as opposed to fake mom?) that's PURELY my opinion tho!

[lahdh4]

I really don't like the term "Tummy Mommy" I know a woman who calls herself this and that is fine. She is comfortable with that.
I, however, call myself a Birth mom. It is what I am comfortable with. The other just leave a bad taste in my mouth for me. For others it may suit them just fine.

[taramayrn]

The only ones I would consider calling myself are birthmother or first/lifemother.

[Mommy24]

I voted for First Mom! For many years I was ok with birth mom, however it has been in the last few years that I have come to the realization that I did alot more than give birth. I was the first mom to my son, I was the first to make a parental decision for him out of love for him and the desire to give him the best life I could, even if that meant it could not be with me.

[quantum]

I like that Mommy24!
I guess I've gone with birthmother so far, it is the easiest explantion to those outside the triad.
Firstmom sounds pretty cool to me.
I'm just happy that bson calls me anything at all!
(he calls me by my name but often refers to me as 'mom' as in 'i don't want my mom to think blah blah')

[thanksgivingmom]

The only person in real life I have ever called myself by any name is to the SW...when I call I say, hi this is C, A's birthmom. And I always feel unsettled after I say it. I think I might not like birthmom after all. I haven't taken the time to figure out what I DO like, but I'm not sure birthmom fits right for me.

Maybe firstmom. I like Mommys reasons for it too....

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

Obviously, this is a poll FOR birth parents however the discussion itself is open to all AS LONG as discussion remains respectful to each individual's personal preference as to what they prefer to be called.

I really am not sure what Bug or Roo's First Mom's prefer or call themselves. As much as I'd like to know, we haven't been able to get that kind of relationship yet to have that conversation or for me to hear them say it. However, Bug's First Mom signed the letters she sent to Bug in the beginning with her first name. Roo's First Mom has signed the few and treasured letters she's sent... Love, MomV (obviously her first initial). I am fine with whatever they're fine with.

I use First Mom (and separated as two words... I'm not sure who suggested to do that, maybe Jenna ~ oh wise one! ~ because otherwise it changes the Mom part. I like First Mom/Parents because to me, it shows respect to the person who indeed, first parented my children. They made the first and most important decision ever in the lives of their and our children. I use First Mother so I never forget that and so my kids know the respect and honor given their First Parents.

I have used Other Mother on my blog from time to time, because it connotes the fact that my children indeed have two mothers.

As for the frustration of some aparents with the "real" or "natural" terms, I don't see how either is offensive if it is what someone wants to call themselves this or that. We're all real. Calling one real and the other not doesn't decrease the realness of who we are.

And as for "natural", I'll be blunt... giving birth is the natural way for a child to come into a family. And the opposite word most people choose is "unnatural" and therefore get offended because it implies "wierd" or "not quite right" I guess. But adoption in whatever way you see it is unnatural. It believe it to be necessary in some situations but the natural way would be for a child to stay with the parents who gave birth to them. That is how things were created to be.

Okay, I'll shut up now... I've had a blog post started on this for ages, every time I see a discussion on it. And I never hit post! Maybe I will soon...

[thanksgivingmom]

Originally Posted by blessedbybug

I use First Mom (and separated as two words... I'm not sure who suggested to do that, maybe Jenna ~ oh wise one! ~ because otherwise it changes the Mom part. I like First Mom/Parents because to me, it shows respect to the person who indeed, first parented my children. They made the first and most important decision ever in the lives of their and our children. I use First Mother so I never forget that and so my kids know the respect and honor given their First Parents.

Thanks again Tammy! I'm loving your posts right now!!! (and I'm needing it! So thanks!)

[Shoshana]

I've been in reunion with my mother for over 20 years. Constantly referring to my birth just seems plain weird at this stage of my life. She's not very comfortable with that title either. If we use a qualifier, than first mother works best for us.

[BrandyHagz]

For many years - I was ok with "birthmother" for myself - there are tons of posts on the topic right here on the forums.

After dealing with some difficult emotions - I've decided that when I need to (and I rarely feel I *need* to) qualify who I am to others...I will use first mom.

My daughter, however, calls me mom. Her mom, calls me Brandy...but refers to me as her mom to friends/relatives - because they all know me and know who she is talking about.

[keds]

I use birthmom on the forums but I prefer First mom but my birthson calls me by my given name. Once we've been in reunion for a period of time this may change. He has a mom and a step-mom so it can get confusing.

[MommaKatja]

I use birth mom (two words). I gave birth to my son, thats not ALL I did but it's a part of our bond that to me is worth recognizing. While I realize First mom is more politically correct and I understand why others prefer it I have no emotional attachment to it and so dont use it to describe myself. (of course I also dont describe myself as african american instead I use the less politically correct "black" so maybe there is a pattern there.)

This actually was posted at a coincidental time for me. I work with foster kids and have recently been annoyed by a co-worker charting on one of the kids and their "bio-mom". I'm thinking about doing a training on proper lingo but can't decide...