[SuddenlySusan]

I use the term bmom in these forums, but it's not my fave. My bson (another cumbersome term) has a "mother." He even has a "mother-in-law." Since I am no longer lawfully his mother, I guess that technically makes me his "mother-out-law."

Runners up would be "natural" or "first."

I also like the expression "life mother" a lot. I hope to be a "life friend."

Peace,
Susan
Mother Outlaw

[BrandyHagz]

mother-out-law

ROFL!

or Mother-By-Gosh

[quantum]

Originally Posted by keds

I use birthmom on the forums but I prefer First mom but my birthson calls me by my given name. Once we've been in reunion for a period of time this may change. He has a mom and a step-mom so it can get confusing.

My birthson also has a mom and a step-mom. As a friend of mine pointed out, the poor girl who marries him will have THREE mother-in-laws to deal with!!!

(I'll be the cool one of course...)

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by quantum

My birthson also has a mom and a step-mom. As a friend of mine pointed out, the poor girl who marries him will have THREE mother-in-laws to deal with!!!

(I'll be the cool one of course...)

And I thought it rough just having TWO mothers-in-law. Three would be somewhat daunting! lol

[Isabo]

Well, on the forums I prefer first mom over all of the "qualified mom" titles. But, I voted for Mother, because that is what I am and that is what I prefered to be called. Luckily for me, that is the title my son chose for me (Mother and Mom), and that is what he calls me. After reunion, he wrote me and said, "I think of you as my Mom, you are my Mom, can I call you Mom?" Of course, I said Yes!!

I have gone on at length on the forums about my dislike of "birth mom". Life mom is cool with me, as is natural mom, bio mom, etc., although I prefer first mom over those. But, Mother and Mom are the best!

[bromanchik]

My son, and his adoptive family, refers to me as his birthmom. It is used respectfully and we have loving relationships, so it works.

I do not see the term as meaning that I only gave birth. I see it as Mom by birth. My son has two moms. One by birth, the other by adoption. He has one set of parents who parent him. He sees it that way too.

BTW, I told him about the controversy over the word birthmom and he said "You have got to be kidding! Changing a name is not going to change how people are treated. It is not really going to matter what they are called if it is said with bad intent." I tend to agree. Being "First Mom" is not going to give me respect from people who are hateful towards mothers who place/have lost their babies to adoption. Changing hearts is so much more difficult than changing the language.
Then again, if it changes the way you feel about yourself it can be a good thing. Empowering.

The exception to this, of course, is when the word is improperly used... such as using the title birthmother for an expectant mother. But you've heard me blather on that point before.

[kakuehl]

I tell D's wife that I'm her illegal mother-in-law (or is that mother-out-law?) Seriously though, I use birth mom or mother simply as a descriptor. D and his family all call me Kathy.

[bmum79]

My son refers to me by my name but not when addressing me directly.
I use birthmom but prefer biological mother as I'm his mother but not his mom.
He's comfortable with b'mom and a'mom.

[momtoBeth]

Birthmom or biological mother

[Boulderbabe]

My son's other mom hasn't referred to herself with any term, so I have no idea what she prefers. Makes it a little tricky!

When I'm talking to my son about her, I call her by a nickname he made up for her out of her first name. Or I call her "your birthmom." But honestly, I have no idea what the right answer is here. I'm just winging it!