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#1
07-12-2007, 01:26 PM
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Why would someone pretend to be a birthmother??!!!
Since I work in the 'industry' so to speak - I get a lot of emails from people sharing their stories.
A recent trend, I've noticed, is that women are pretending to be birthmothers. Not pregnant women looking to place. Birthmothers. They are pretending they got pregnant and placed a child for adoption. Why? Over the years, its happened on the forums - usually, they just go away (I guess birthmotherhood loses its novelty) I am trying to think of one good reason why someone would want to PRETEND to be a birthmom... ...I can't. What are your thoughts on this recent 'trend' not only here on the forums, but in the adoption community at large?
__________________
 Brandy Adopted Adult :: Mother :: First Mother :: Wife 
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#2
07-12-2007, 01:33 PM
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One word.
ATTENTION Sad. True. Disgusting IMO.
__________________
 "Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one!"
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#3
07-12-2007, 01:33 PM
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Quote:
Brandy - I think it's disgusting for a woman to portray herself as a birthmother when in fact, she's not. Being a birthmother myself, I know how hard it can be, how strong the emotions are, the fear you feel about being "cut out" of your child's life. Why would anyone pretend like that? How could they possibly know how difficult it is? This has made me a bit angry, I'm afraid. I wasn't aware that people like that existed. It's truly despicable and pathetic.
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#4
07-12-2007, 01:41 PM
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Sad. True. Disgusting Indeed.
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Brandy Adopted Adult :: Mother :: First Mother :: Wife
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#5
07-12-2007, 02:08 PM
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Sad, I don't understand it at all. Some deep seeded need for something I'm sure.
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Tara May Open Adoption Birthmother to T. February 13, 2000 Forum Moderator of the: Unplanned Pregnancy Forums  
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#6
07-12-2007, 02:19 PM
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It's just so frustrating too...
As if the stereotypes about birthmothers aren't damaging enough already, it ruins the credibility of ACTUAL birthmothers...like we need more bad press
__________________
Thanksgivingmom Community Moderator Safe Haven First Mom in an Open Adoption Blogger: I Should Really Be Working
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#7
07-12-2007, 02:29 PM
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I had no idea that someone would do that! Of course, after many years of being online, people pretend to be all sorts of things...
Anyway the idea makes me quite ill. Obviously these people have NO CLUE. Bah.
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#8
07-12-2007, 02:36 PM
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It sickens me that some people will waste time pretending to be anything for attention. Why waste other people's time, emotions, and energy when it's all a lie?
And seriously, I agree with tmom that it just adds to the stereotypes that are already there.
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#9
07-12-2007, 06:09 PM
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I think these people are in need of some serious psychiatric help.
Where do these people get off saying they are birthmothers when they can't even begin to comprehend the emotions that go along with relinquishing a child? Geez! It took me 18 years to finally verbalize "I'm a birthmother"!! I agree TG...don't birthmother have enough negative publicity?
__________________
  Every now and then I like to lean out my window, look up and smile for a satellite picture. - Steven Wright ~Todays mighty Oak is just yesterdays nut that held it’s ground~  Birth Mom Adult Step-Parent Adoptee
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#10
07-12-2007, 07:14 PM
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Disgusting. Crying out for Attention. Stupid.
__________________
    Liable to Change http://lhjh4.wordpress.com/ "One day I will be faith filled I'll be trusting and spacious, authentic and grounded and home" Alannis -- Incomplete No day but today.... Rent I can't remember to forget you
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#11
07-12-2007, 11:25 PM
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More questions than answers...
Hi Brandy,
I'm not sure why a woman would pretend to be a birthmother for reasons other than attention, unless she was trying to take advantage of an adoptee, possibly by portraying herself as the birthmother of a targeted adoptee. I am curious, though, if these women are communicating with you via email, how are you able to discern that they are imposters? Do they eventually give themselves away or something? Would it be possible that they have slipped into some form of mental illness after having an abortion, and the only way they can live with their decision is to pretend that they actually had a baby and then relinquished? I've heard of people pretending they have a terminal disease such as cancer in order to gain attention, and sometimes even for monetary gain. What would an imposter birthmother have to gain other than locating an adoptee with whom they could assume a relationship? I have never heard of imposter birthmothers before, let alone a prevalence of them. How do we tell the difference on the forums? Peace, Susan 
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#12
07-13-2007, 12:10 AM
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A sad state of affairs. I can't even imagine what would drive someone to do such a thing. I had my first F2F and changed my tag to Birthmom in Reunion and then when I thought it didn't go so well changed it as I wasn't comfortable with how the meeting went so I didn't think I deserved the "title". I still have a hard time using the term birthmom so it's difficult to believe someone could just "choose" to use it.
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#13
07-13-2007, 12:55 AM
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I am curious now, how DO you tell the imposters?
I guess with other people who I've met online who were not what they said, their stories change, things don't add up right. Is that what happens?
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#14
07-13-2007, 09:28 AM
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