[kristin512]

I just recently placed my baby girl for adoption. She was born October 24th, so it has been just 4 months since the placement. I stayed in a Christian home for girls w/ issues such as unplanned pregnancies, among other things. I was there for 9 months- 2 of them being after the placement. Now being home and back out in the world, it is very difficult to find people who understand how I am feeling. I frequently receive pictures and updates of my daughter from the adoptive couple, but sometimes it is hard for me to get them so often. There are also many people that think I chose adoption because I just didn't feel like taking on the responsibility of a child right now so i chose the "easy" way out. This is hard to know that people think this way. I find myself trying to prove my love for my baby to them and I also have a hard time moving on- feeling like it's ok to be happy. There are also times when I often regret this decision and think about what life would be like if I had my daughter. I sometimes daydream about what I would be doing if she were here. I just need someone who understands, can relate, and support me through this time.
Thanks,
Kristin

[Mommy24]

Kristin, Welcome to the forums. You will find lots of support here. It always amazes me when people say we took the "easy" way out, sure hasnt been "easy" for me.
I also placed in October, however that was 16 years ago, it has been a long road but I have learned so much along the way.

Glad you are here, Pm me anytime if you need someone to talk to

[thanksgivingmom]

Hi Kristen, I also placed recently. My DD was born November 23rd. I've found a lot of help here on the forums in the almost three months since I placed.

Good luck to you and feel free to PM me as well if you like.

[browneyes0707]

Just wanted to say welcome! I placed almost 15 years ago, but I remember a lot of the initial feelings, that were very similar to how you feel right now. You most certainly did not take the "easy" way out!! It's a long journey you have started on, but I can assure you that you are not alone!!!

Feel free to PM me too, if you need anything. Also, we chat on Wed nights at 9EST, you are more than welcome to join us

[taramayrn]

Welcome - hope you are able to find the support you need here.

I'm the bmom of a 7 year old little boy and we have a fully open adoption.

((((HUGS))))

[SchmennaLeigh]

"Moving on" is very subjective. I'm of the belief that there is no "moving on" from placement. To me, it permeates the core of your being and changes how you act, react and live the rest of your life. Don't let others tell you how to process your pain. It is yours. Your grief process will be different from every one else's and won't fit in a neat and tidy box.

[opalwench]

Hey Kristin. My daughter was born Oct 1st. We placed her with my boyfriend's older sister and her family in an open adoption. The forums and friendship here have been no little amount of support to me. Also I understand what you about daydreaming, I do the same thing.

Welcome. And ((hugs)).

[InBlindFaith]

Welcome Kristin. You didn't take the easy way out. You are at the beginning of your journey. You will find a lot of support here, you are not alone.

I placed my daughter 18 years ago in a closed adoption. My journey got a little easier when I found friendship and support here on the forums.

You are welcome to join us tonight in Birthparent Chat. It's every Wednesday Night at 9 CST.

[Tigger27]

Welcome, Kristin .

I hope you are able to find friendship and support here to help you.

I, myself, placed two girls one that is about to turn 4 and the other is 2. Both of them are more open adoptions, but not fully open yet at present. If you'd like to read my story, click the link in my signature .

We've all more or less been where you are and are all more than willing to be there for you to listen, help and give support to you any way that we can.

Please feel free to join us on Wednesday nights for our Birthparent chat at 9 pm CST.

Sending (((Hugs))) to you.

[keds]

welcome kristin, I just found this site in the last few months and it's been such a help. It's been 26 years for me and I can honestly say every day is a challenge. It amazes me that anyone would say this decision was the "easy way out". I don't believe there is ever an "easy way". Keep your head up and know that there are a lot of us that are going through the very same things. Take care.

[longingtomeetyou]

i agree how can anyone say that adoption is the easy way out......they obviously havent relinquished a child!

chin up hon grieving is part of adoption.....i encourage you to pray to God if you are a christian if not......i really recommend it .....
without Jesus in my life i would feel hopeless......hope this helps

[SMLH]

Glad to have you here I placed my daughter 2 1/2 years ago.. My time flys.. I see her and her adoptive family about 9 times a year...Got written updates once a month until she was 1, we have a great relationship. When I was debating about adoption, I said to my mother (who I didn't always have the best relationship with), that I felt like I was taking the easy way out, that I was be selfish by getting pregnant, but not wanting to raise a child.. She hugged me, for the first time in awhile, and told me that by giving this couple my child is the most unselfish thing that a person could ever do, I give many hugs to you, time will sooth your broken heart, and I'll keep you in my prayers - most of us here have all felt this similar pain.. Never feel like you took the easy way out... A. in a situation like this, there is NO easy way out. and B. you are a strong woman, and never let anyone convince you otherwise.

Take Care,