[lahdh4]

A little back ground. E will usually call L after a visit just to check in and see how the visit went from their side and not just my side. Well, L called back and it seems J had a few rough/bad days after our visit last month. I didn't find out until Saturday what happened and asked E. Mistake. It appears that J went and said something and said "real mother" in reference to me. I know I would NEVER say anything to her about who I am. That isn't for me to do. That is for her parents to tell her. They have talked about adoption with her but haven't used the terminology when talking with her. L asked her niece who was there and she says she didn't say anything. I haven't heard from L since the visit. I won't hear anything from them until I want a visit and then I doubt I will be told of the achievements of Miss J. (i will brag and say potty trained within a week ).
So now I wonder if I should write them a letter and explain that I hope they know I wouldn't say anything to J about who I am? Do I let E handle it?
I know I won't call up. I really, really, really hate confrontation so it would be a letter.
I have been trying not to think about this all weekend but easier said then done. Sorry for this being so long.

[taramayrn]

So now I wonder if I should write them a letter and explain that I hope they know I wouldn't say anything to J about who I am?

I'm so sorry Leigh. ((((HUGS)))) I think writing a letter to explain that you would never say anything would be a good idea.

[lahdh4]

Well, a letter has been written and rewritten. Have called E twice and am waiting for a response back from her. I don't know if E let L know that she was going to be talking to me about this or if she was going to follow up with L after my session Saturday.
All I do know is that when my phone rang yesterday and it was my ex (J's bdad) I agreed to meet with him and we spent the afternoon driving around and I told him. He told me I don't tell him anything but I looked right at him and asked him when was the last time he asked about J. He couldn't answer that and I don't told him exactly. I am slipping into the hole where he is involved and around.

[lahdh4]

Letter written and sent. They should have it either tomorrow or Saturday. E asked me if I wanted to share it with her and I said no. This is now between L and myself.

[lonni]

Originally Posted by lahdh4

Letter written and sent. They should have it either tomorrow or Saturday. E asked me if I wanted to share it with her and I said no. This is now between L and myself.

Good for you.I think letters are great for communication.
I think it will be okay and no need to worry,IMO.

[taramayrn]

Sorry Leigh, but who are L and E? I think I know who they are, but just need a clarification.

[lahdh4]

E: therapist
L: amom
B: adad
my B: ex J's bdad

no problem Tara, sometimes I get confused myself.

[browneyes0707]

OK, I didn't post earlier because I was confused as to who E was, LOL!!

Thanks for clarifying!!

Good luck with the letter!! I think it's an important thing to keep the lines of communication open especially when issues such as this arise when things get a bit rough.