[fairydust159]

I'm so nervous! The agency I'm putting up my child for adoption through just contacted the birthfather for him to relinquish his rights... and I dont know what he's going to do! I'm so afraid he's going to refuse and I'll have to go to court... or even worse be connected to this guy for the next 18 years! Has anyone had the birthfather refuse to give up his rights? What happened? Any info would be greatly appreciated!

[Tigger27]

Fairydust,

I don't have any info or advice right now. I just wanted to let you know that we're here for you and I hope things go alright.

If you want to talk, just feel free to send me a PM.

[StacyKelly2]

I am in a situation where the birth father will not give up his rights. To make a very long story short...In the beginning we were told he did not want the baby. Of course once the paperwork was given to him than he decided he wanted his baby. 3 months later (since this did not go to court yet, we sitll had custody) he changes his mind...he wants to sign off his rights...we were so happy!!!! Unfortunately he never signed off....He then was contacted and agreed to open adoption -once again we were so happy!!! then 2 weeks later he changes his mind he wants the baby...We have had our baby since birth to now 20 months...We are told to do nothing let him push to go to court...and so far nothing is being done. The not knowing what is going to happen is just so extremely hard....We actually have no idea what is going to happen...until this goes to court. All we can do is pray and pray and keep faith in God...that he placed this angel with us for a reason!!! I know how scared you are feeling ...just pray everything will work out...that is all you can do.

[IluvScarolina]

I went through the same thing with my son's dad. He wouldn't sign the papers because he didn't want to someday be responsible for the baby. He was more afraid that the baby would grow up, want to meet us and hate us for the adoption. He's always looking to get out of anything that spells responsibility. I finally got down to his level and said that a baby was so much money(he hates spending money on everything except beer), he would have to help with taking care of it instead of going out whenever, and I brought up child support once or twice. I hated that I had to do that but I had to take care of the baby, making sure he got the best life possible and that was with the family that wanted to adopt him, not us. I would have done more but all the money talk convinced him to sign saying that he may or may not be the father. sorry but he makes me so mad, even after 6 years.
I wish you the best of luck with everything.

[SMLH]

I had the same issue. MH's birth father refused to even admit it was his... I'm guessing to hide it from his current "fling" anyway... He then at least admitted that it was his and then HE wanted her.. and his new girlfriend wanted to adopted her... Well that didn't fly with me. . . Mind you, he left when I was 3 weeks pregnant and has made no effort to contact me at all..Never did through the whole pregnancy and never after.. it's still going on 3 years and we live in the same town.. Not to get off subject... Next - his mom wanted to adopt her... I think the whole family was missing the point. Well, needless to say their attemps didn't, and never would have worked. If a women is honest enough with herself to know that she is unable/unwilling to raise a child, chances are the courts are going to be in your/our favor. The judge didn't even think about it.. We did have to go to court. I went and testified about everything. The adoptive parents were there with 20+ from their family and my family was there too. Along with MH, of course. He didn't show up, he didn't have a laywer...

I wouldn't worry about this too much, I know that's not easy. But I worried soo much, and it was over nothing. Unless B-father is a reliable, good hearted guy, with no record, and a steady job/living situtation I wouldn't worry about it.. and if he is all of the above mentioned then he better have a good laywer, because like I said.. The courts like adoption.. They like to see bright mothers who just want the best for their baby.. They will do/rule what is best for the child.... Keep that in mind.. Keep smiling!!


Sherri