[Shellikin]

Well, I just need to vent. This time of year has always been tough on me, for as long as I can remember. This year seems especially overwhelming. Ever since Jackson was born, I found I really jumped head first into work. For three months, I've been working 60 hour weeks. A few weeks ago, I caught a cold that just hasn't gone away, which has made the work schedule harder. I started making jokes "the last time I had a cold this long, I was pregnant." But they did do a pee test, and it was negative, when I got my depo shot, so I thought there was no way.

Early last week, the guy I've been seeing for around four months and I decided to part ways. It wasn't very civil. A lot of bad emotions there, but I'm not going to get into that. I had been bleeding lightly since the 17th. On the 24th, it progressed to very heavy bleeding with menstrual-like cramps and lower back pain. On the 25th (last Saturday), I noticed tissue coming out... considerably more than a period. So I went to the hospital. Miscarriage.

I asked all my male friends and they said that if they were in that situation, they would want to be told. So I called up the guy. Here's a guy who was all about condoms after I had given birth. The condom broke just the one time, he started worrying about pregnancy. And when I went to get the depo shot and got the negative test result, he was relieved. The only guy I've slept with since giving birth. This guy tells me "I don't know who you need to tell about that, but I can't have children." I hate being lied to.

On top of all of that... today is the 6th anniversary of the death of one of my best friends. I've been spending a lot of time with her parents lately. This year is easier than it has been... but you know how you have that one person who could make you feel better about anything? That was her. I really miss her.

So this has been my terrible week, and it feels better just talking about all of it.

[lahdh4]

(((HUGS)))

[josh1788smom]

Support coming your way!! Hopefully your week will be better soon.

[Tigger27]

(((Hugs))) I hope things get better soon.