[tbabyren]

I just found out last week. I was told by my doc that my hormone levels would not support a pregnancy and yet I am. My doc also told me to go off birth control and I was taking hormone cremes but had stopped that almost 2 months ago. I have 2 beautiful boys 7 & 9 and nor myself or the father are stable enough for a child. I had before considered surrogacy because I have easy pregnancies. So adoption came as an easy decision for me. I just don't know where to begin. I am currently living with my sister and the situation is cramped, yet another reason adoption is a better choice I myself am not stable enough for another child. Guess I'm just looking for some direction from here since I made my decision. Also needed a place to vent have gotten some negative comments from friends about my decision.

Thanks in advance. If anyone know a good agency in Florida any help with greatly be appreciated.

Renee

[kelceesmom]

I don't live in FL but just wanted to give you encouragement in whatever decision you make. It will be difficult no matter. I am an adoptive mom but I would prefer a pbmom to parent if able. Please look at all your options. Some obsticals may be short term and you might only have a short struggle until then. In the meantime there are lots of agencies that can help you if you are in need of housing, food, etc. I would definately contact an agency or lawyer, if you decide that adoption is best, that has YOUR interest at hand not potential adoptive parents. I wish you luck in your journey.

[Leigh131313]

I hope you find the support you are seeking. This can be a wonderful community.



Welcome

[tbabyren]

Originally Posted by kelceesmom

I don't live in FL but just wanted to give you encouragement in whatever decision you make. It will be difficult no matter. I am an adoptive mom but I would prefer a pbmom to parent if able. Please look at all your options. Some obsticals may be short term and you might only have a short struggle until then. In the meantime there are lots of agencies that can help you if you are in need of housing, food, etc. I would definately contact an agency or lawyer, if you decide that adoption is best, that has YOUR interest at hand not potential adoptive parents. I wish you luck in your journey.

I know I am new here and usually I can figure out the abbreviations but the pbmom stumped me.

[kelceesmom]

Sorry, it means potential birthmom. Since you haven't decided to parent or put your baby up for adoption we usually use that term.

[Mommy24]

Renee...Welcome to the forums! I placed my bson 16 yrs ago in Florida, Please feel free to Pm me if I can be of any help to you!

[Lisasue]

Renee! Cheers

I think it is a wonderful thing that you know in your heart you love this child enough that you want him/her to have more. I am in Canada so I cannot help you as far as where you go. But an agency somewhere is Florida is probably a great start!!!.

Its good to see, that with the two children in your care now, that you are in a good stable thought of mind even if your situation isnt stable, to do whats best for all. To many children are born to families without considering everyones future, these children tend to be resented as time goes on. Good for you for wanting more for them and yourself!!! . Kudos to you!!

You could also try churches, I have heard some women have had alot of comfort and direction that way.

I am a birthmom who has reunited with her son after 20 years, and he thanked me for giving him life.

Take care!!! all the best to you and your family
Lisasue

[billysmommy]

Hello,
I am in Florida. I am an adoptive parent twice, and used a different agency/attorney each time. As you said, you are very early in your pregnancy, but if you should decide to pursue adoption, and would like some names, feel free to PM me. My children's first mom contacted several agencies and attornies before choosing the ones she felt comfortable with.
Good Luck to you

[SMLH]

You will get negativity when you tell people about your decision. You DO NOT need to prove yourself to them. A lot of people (when I told them of the adoption plans) (I knew at 1 month too, that this was best for my child) said Oh.. I'm so sorry.. and Why... I was hurt and wonder why people must be so mean when I'm young and confused and .. you know... They are not in your shoes. You need to make a decision that will, in the end, be best for you and your family (+unborn child) - This isn't about anyone else.

If you want to talk I'm all ears

Good Luck - Stick up for yourself, you're a strong woman!!!

[sunshine-ditto]

Try a support network like "catholic charities" or "Lutheran social services", they will help you regardless of the decision you make.

If you are feeling this confident with your decision, stick with it and start looking at your goals that will happen after the birth. You can give this baby life and make someone a family, so think about YOU and what you can look forward to in 9 months.

Remember it's YOUR decision. Get some counseling so you feel good about it.

[zzetta]

When I made the decision, I spoke with my ob/gyn. He actually had list of people who had come to him asking for possible leads on children up for adoption. At the top of his list was a cardiologist. So my son was adopted through a private adoption by a doctor and his wife. Whether private or through an agency, a doctor can give you advise on what may be best for you. At least it is another source.

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by zzetta

Whether private or through an agency, a doctor can give you advise on what may be best for you. At least it is another source.

It is another source to be sure, but a doctor has no more training in adoption than your average Joe on the street. Doctors, like many others, bring their own biases and preferences into a professional arena. They may have patients they have grown close to that they may suggest with little thought as to what you may want for your child... or what your child may need.

The beauty of choosing adoptive parents, should you decide to place, is that you can choose adopting parents who hold values and beliefs that you respect. Who share a vision of what you want your child's life to be like. While choosing adoptive parents are no guaruntee, you are more likely to get adoptive parents who hold the same values when you choose them yourself.

I do not suggest OB/GYN's as a resource because I see it as a conflict of interest as well. Most often they are helping infertile patients find a baby, not a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy find a home for her child. They are not licensed to work in adoption, nor should they.

What do I suggest? Going to an independant counselor and doing some independant study on what your options are. All your options. If you choose adoption, research agencies and ask how they facilitate adoptions and choose the one that is right for you and your baby.

[zzetta]

Originally Posted by bromanchik

I do not suggest OB/GYN's as a resource because I see it as a conflict of interest as well. Most often they are helping infertile patients find a baby, not a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy find a home for her child. They are not licensed to work in adoption, nor should they.

My doctor had my best interests at heart, and he did not pressure me to give my son up. Catholic Services did because of their views on unwed mothers. The couple who adopted my son went every possible route to get a child including all the agencies. That just proved to me that they really wanted a child. The first family that Catholic Services found changed their mind 4 times. When my doctor found out what was happening that's when he suggested the couple he knew about. He knew I was stressed about situation and offered an option. He did not profit from in any way from this and after the connection was made, it was turned over to the proper state agencies and attournies to complete the process. I was still able to review non id info about them and make a choice.

This may not be the option for everyone, but it is another choice.

[lynark]

I am a post-adoption birthmother. At 42 and not being fertile, I had no desire to raise a child. When I became pregnant, I shopped for adoption agencies online. I gravitated toward a couple I saw on the website. When I went into the agency I told them what life I imagined for my child. I did not want to be a mother nor establish paternity between two birthfathers. I asked each of the birthfathers to support my decision. Through the agency I found P&M. P&M also liked my profile and chose me in return. I invited M to join me on my doctors appointments. She knew more about having a baby and yet I was the one pregnant. LOL My experience with P&M and baby O was the most joyful to see P&M with their new baby. They have made me happy. Somehow my opps or mistake grew inside me and I slowly began to view him as not an opps or mistake. He has brought purpose to my life by giving birth to him and placing sweet baby O with P&M. They love him so much. If I had tried to be a single parent I would have been sad. Baby O turned out to be this beautiful gift that fate handed me, and in return I placed him as a gift to the adoptive couple P&M. I love baby O and I love P&M and I love the choice that I made. Even though I am happy it does not mean that I don't have sad time and tears too. It has been a year I am sorting out my feelings of connection. It was something I did not expect. P&M, Baby O and I are arranging a meeting to see each other again. Buy stock in Kleenex now!!! LOL.

[Scarlet Moon 13]

Originally Posted by tbabyren

I just found out last week. I was told by my doc that my hormone levels would not support a pregnancy and yet I am. My doc also told me to go off birth control and I was taking hormone cremes but had stopped that almost 2 months ago. I have 2 beautiful boys 7 & 9 and nor myself or the father are stable enough for a child. I had before considered surrogacy because I have easy pregnancies. So adoption came as an easy decision for me. I just don't know where to begin. I am currently living with my sister and the situation is cramped, yet another reason adoption is a better choice I myself am not stable enough for another child. Guess I'm just looking for some direction from here since I made my decision. Also needed a place to vent have gotten some negative comments from friends about my decision.

Thanks in advance. If anyone know a good agency in Florida any help with greatly be appreciated.

Renee

just so you know, the politically correct term for you is mother to be.

I am a birthmother, I gave up (unwillingly) a child for adoption in the 1960s.

A pregnant woman is a mother to be. She doesn't have to keep the baby, she can do what she feels is best for both her and her child.

But you are not a post birthmother there is no such thing. Until the day your baby is born, until the day you sign the final papers, you will be that baby's mother. After the baby is gone due to adoption you are then, and only then a birthmother, natural mother, first mother, former mother, ex mother whatever you want to call yourself.

Heated topic, yes.

Adoption is a wonderful thing. It can be the best option.

But you won't know that until after it is done.

good luck

But for now, you are a pregnant woman.