[sunshine-ditto]

My b-dau. is 17 and I'm going to meet her for the first time since she was a month old. I have so many feelings...fear / anxious / nervous / happy...all parties involved are okay with the reunion, but i feel like i'm the one with so many questions. I know i need to let her "lead me" and i know she's happy, so i really have no idea what to expect. Anyone out there have any advice? comments? I have photos to bring her of me, my family today, is that okay?

[josh1788smom]

My son will not be 18 for a few more weeks; so I have not gone through reunion yet, but I am anxious for it. From what I have read on here, you sound like you are on track. Pictures - good; questions - good. She will have questions; you will have answers and then boom - conversation. What is the story behind your reuniting now, if you don't mind sharing. Best of luck to you. Please keep us posted.

[InBlindFaith]

Sunshine - I am putting together a scrapbook for my birthdaughter so I can hand it to her the day we meet.

The first section are the pictures I was given of her up until she was 6 weeks old, the letter her A-Mom wrote me and a letter I wrote to her.

The second section is about her father and I then. I am including pictures and telling her about him.

The third section will be on her family history, including pictures of ancestors.

My daughter is 18 now, but she is not ready since she went away to college last month, so the scrapbok is busy work for me. I am finishing up the first section and I am about to start on the second section. Alot of the ideas came from the adoptees on this board. They gave suggestions as to what they would like to have and know.

Maybe put together a scrapbook for her to keep??

[SMLH]

Good Luck, I'll be praying for you. As for the scrapbook idea.. Awesome! I'm a Bmom, I made one for MH, I worked on in the whole 9 months I was pregnant ( I knew I was going to put her up for adoption from day 1). Anyway, I gave it to her Aparents at our adoption ceremony. But I know she will forever treasure it. I wrote her a letter (inside the scrapbook) and tried to explain in words, why I made the choice I did.. and put pictures of me from 2 months old until I was 19 and pregnant. It was some 50 pages long. Anyway, just thought I'd share.

[DebsW]

Dear Sunshine, I am an adoptee and I have reunited with my BMom 4/1/06. I was here looking at some posts, trying to get an idea of how she felt in 1969 and how she may feel now. I wanted to send you a message about our first meeting from a birth daughters perspective.

I was very nervous (I am 37 yrs old). We hugged and my Mom cried, sobbed even. I cried but was shaking more. I was pretty weepy through the whole first meeting, 2 1/2 hrs. We have been in constant contact since then and I have been embraced by both sides of the family with open arms. I love my BMom so very much.

Don't be surprised if more emotions come later. I leave my Mom and I cry the whole way home because I don't want to go (seems to be common with a lot of us I hear). Another thing I had a very difficult time with (and this is embarrrassing) was seeing her raise my two siblings. I can't believe I am 37 years old and I'm green with envy at seeing them all together, and I missed it. I know it may sound childish and petty but it was how I felt and since recognizing it I am able to get a better handle on it. I only tell you this because she is 17 years old. I also considered my life to be happy but there will be a connection that is undeniable and she may feel many gaps starting to fill in for her and it is alot of emotions to try to manage all at once.

Enjoy your fist meeting and I wish you the best.

DebSW

[sunshine-ditto]

Hi
THANKS so much for the advice. I'm checking daily for replies and glad to see them. In reponse to some of you....
I am working on a scrapbook. It has photos of me, hubby and our two kids (age 6 and 4). Also my parents, siblings and their families. They are mostly recent photos and the scrapbook only came to being VERY recently! (I can always do older photos at a later date). I'm also including a copy of the lyrics to the Rascal Flatts song, "My Wish". I also intend to include a copy of the letter i wrote to her 17 years ago (in case she hasn't seen it yet).
My trip is in ONE WEEK and we're spending 2 days together. I'm still full of emotions but it's maybe been good i've been swamped at work and with other committments that i've been almost too busy to fret / worry / be nervous about my trip. Next week will be different, i'm sure.
to DebsW...thank you for the comments from an adoptee point of view. I know she's happy and i feel like i'll be the gushy mess and she'll be the strong one....but who knows. Good to have a "heads up" that there could be more emotion later.
I'd welcome more thoughts if any of you have them and i'll write after the visit.
Thanks again!
SD

[longingtomeetyou]

im so excited for you.....

you must be on pins and needles waiting till you reunite......