[BestLight]

I hope it's OK if I poke my head in over here.

I saw a notice of a new book in yesterday's local paper, and it made me think of some of you. So I wanted to share the information, in case any of you might find this of interest.

Title: The Girls Who Went Away : The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade

Author: Ann Fessler

Review (Publishers Weekly): Nobody ever asked me if I wanted to keep the baby," says Joyce, in a story typical of the birth mothers, mostly white and middle-class, who vent here about being forced to give up their babies for adoption from the 1950s through the early '70s. They recall callous parents obsessed with what their neighbors would say; maternity homes run by unfeeling nuns who sowed the seeds of lifelong guilt and shame; and social workers who treated unwed mothers like incubators for married couples. More than one birth mother was emotionally paralyzed until she finally met the child she'd relinquished years earlier. In these pages, which are sure to provoke controversy among adoptive parents, birth mothers repeatedly insist that their babies were unwanted by society, not by them. Fessler, a photography professor at the Rhode Island School of Design, is an adoptee whose birth mother confessed that she had given her away even though her fiancé, who wasn't Fessler's father, was willing to raise her. Although at times rambling and self-pitying, these knowing oral histories are an emotional boon for birth mothers and adoptees struggling to make sense of troubled pasts. (May 8)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

[vera19]

Thank you for letting us all know about this book

[Montraviatommyg]

Thanks from me too, though it would have nice if mothers from the '80's were included, Pip

[merrill1277]

Of course it's okay if you poke in here
Thanks for the info about this book.

Originally Posted by Montraviatommyg

Thanks from me too, though it would have nice if mothers from the '80's were included, Pip

I agree. Mine was late 70's. Don't know why the author has to have that cut-off. Sure some things were changing in society in the early 70's, but what was going to happen in a crisis (unsupported) pregnancy also depended on the family and other circumstances, often even today. I know there were less babies available for adoption post Roe vs. Wade, but it doesn't mean women all of a sudden had "free choice" re adoption vs. parenting as coercion in adoption remained alive and well. Speaking of "choice", I've also heard of young women being forced into having abortions by bf or family members especially parents, post R v W. Ironic and sad.
Merrill

[maryjanek]

Thanks, Bestlight. I just ordered a copy. The tone of the Publisher's Weekly review you quoted is skeptical although not outright hostile toward the birth mothers' stories in the book; other reviews were kinder. In my experience, birth mothers don't feel sorry for themselves, they blame themselves.

I can understand being frustrated by the relatively narrow timeline, but in a review on Salon.com the author explains what was so distinctive about that period. As an adoptee born during that time, she became interested in the history because of a chance encounter with a birth mother, not her own.

I'm hoping it's well done.

[FauxClaud]

It is a rediculiously wonderful book. I finished it yesterday.
Being a mom from late '87...the stories and feelings and emotions are very true to most moms who relinquish...
The personal stories are heartwrenching, plus Ann Flesser does a great job of weaving in facts and stats with more anacdotal stories..to make a good read.
I totally disagree with the "rambling and self pittying" statement made by the reviewer. Blah.

100% percent recommend this book for any mom who relinquished, and especially any adoptee born in that time frame who desires to understand their own personal history better.

[BMOM&MOM]

Hi Everyone,

I have not started to read the book yet...But Ann is currently doing Book signing in different locations...I just attend one in Harvard Book Store, Cambridge, Ma...She spoke also had some birthmother that were interview in the book read their passages...I am friends with one of them..I also belong to a birthmothers group from all over new england and alot of us attend...There were between 20- 30 birthmothers in the audience..What a wonderful experience..She played taped interview of women.I will try to find the link....

[shadowdove]

The Christian Science Monitor review is available at http://www.christiansciencemonitor.com/books/index.html .

This is an excellent interview...

Yesterday’s Leonard Lopate Show interview is available for download or on-line listening at
http://www.wnyc.org/shows/lopate/episodes/2006/05/15 .

[maryjanek]

shadowdove, I see from your post that I just missed Fessler reading at Barnes & Noble right down the street. Had I known, I definitely would have gone. I web surfed a bit and she seems to be touring around the country.

For those interested, here's another book review:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/featur...,2166119.story