[cpm]

Hi everyone! I'm new here. I am a birthmom who placed my daughter almost 5 years ago, and I am also a counselor at an adoption agency. I am looking for information on explaining adoption to an older child who has a mom who is planning on adoption. The child is 6 1/2 and her mom is planning on placing her second child at birth. Does anyone know of any resources or ways to explain to the 6 1/2 year old why her baby sister won't be living with them?? Thank you!

[janetleigh78]

As always, honesty is the best policy. And simplicity keeps it more understandable. More details may be filled in when siblings get older. But some of the info is missing here... why placing, open or closed, etc. But the usual clearcut simple answer is that they want to be sure that both children get everything they need and don't feel that they can do that at this time. IF its open and they get to meet or send eachother letters then maybe they can let her know that they can be friends or penpals. Just a thought. Good luck

[lolapink]

i explained to my 4 yr old boy that the baby would be going to live with the adoptive couple (who he met) and be their baby because mommy couldn't take care of a baby then and the a-mom couldn't grow a baby in her belly. i told him we would see pictures of him and he accepted that. i think the key is to explain it as gently and as matter-of-fact as you can. also my soc.worker told me to be VERY clear that i would always keep him and he would not go to another family...apparently kids think it will be them next if they're bad or someting if its not explained.