[MrsCinderella]

Hello everyone. My name is Casie. My husband, and our 10 year old son live in Gilbert, Arizona. We are trying to adopt as we would like a big family.

We got a call yesterday from from our agency asking for a parent letter. I've never seen one before so I'm not sure what to write. Its supposed to tell birthparents about us. So, I thought I'd come to you.

What would you like to know about a family adopting your baby/child?

I figured you would be the best source for this.

I commend you all for what your doing. We had an adoptiong fall through a few months ago. We were there for the delivery and all but then she decided to keep him. Although we are very hurt, I understand and hope this baby will put her back where she needs to be.

Casie

[GinnyBinny]

Every birthmother has different things that they are looking for in a family.

Every birthmother wants a warm loving family, but after that everyone has there own prefrences.

I had my list of musts. They had to remind me of my family (not a clone of my family, but just feel like they had some personality similarities and that their family was not totally different than the enviornment that I grew up in), be loving, seem fun and involved in their kids life (if they had kids. The family I picked did), not super strict, no work-aholics, no smoking ( I had mulitiple relatives that died from smoking and some had seriouse medical issues from second hand smoke so I was very adament about my bson growing up in a household with non smoking parents)

And then I had the little things that were'nt must, but would be nice like them having a family dog. The family I picked had two and one of them was my favorite - a golden retriever.

My advice to you is to be yourself. Try to give a good sense to the bmother of what your lifestyle is like and what your personalites are like.

Some ideas: tell what your jobs are and give an idea of how much you work, describe what you both do in your free time, maybe tell how you met each other, tell what your passions/what you love to do are - do you love to play tennis? volunteer? camp? ride bikes? travel? swim? read novels?, tell about the family you grew up in, tell about what you love about being a parent, Tell about what you love to do with your son, if there is something special tradition that you have with your son like every year you go fishing at a special lake or something, then that would be great to share.

I hope this was helpful. Best wishes

-Ginny

[MrsCinderella]

Thank you Ginny. You gave wonderful detail.
I'm an open book and I personally feel that birthparents have the right to know everything about whom will be caring for their child.

Unfortunetly, my 8 page letter ! lol to the parents got cut down to 1 page by the agency!

She said they would get board and wont finish reading it.

Well, one day we'll get lucky with a family who will love and accept us the way we are. Your very lucky to have found a great family!

I'm nevervous that someone is going to look at our picture and not see the whole thing. We're so loving and fun but .. how do I say this. I know every parent wants their child to grow up in a good home where the parents can provide everything and then more for their child.

We can do that, but our picture would never show it because we dont like to show off our fortunes. We are more the Disney family ! and it shows!!

You said doggies.. we've got 3 lol Which I'm also afraid may turn someone away from considering us

You've been a great help!

Thanks

[AnnieandZach]

i cant believe your agent said the b mom would get bored!?! Not if she was the one to choose you! that makes me mad! When i was going over profiles I would have read an 8 page letter, usually tho I would read until I felt they werent the right choce for me. The right girl will find you regardless of how long your letter is, that is just ridiculous.

[AnnieandZach]

I looked for a couple that seemed to work together as a team, money was sort of a big one for me, just because i know its nice to be able to afford to go to the prom etc and i never could. Little things that showed sense of humour i looked for and similar interests. I think all bmoms look for the same type of thing, just tailored to their own personalities/interests. I honestly think that whatever you write, when the right person reads your profile she will know. Thats what happened to me. I was also looking for people who looked like either me or my boyfriend. And as it turns out Zach looks exactly like the a-dad, Ross.

anyway i am just rambling now
Annie

[Praying2Adopt]

We have been told that long letter are bad before too..But we went with our hearts and did the long letter anyway. I thought to myself..if I were thinking about adopion for my child I would want to know everything about the AP's as possible. We are on the journey of finding our next birthfamily for our second adoption and once again I have broken the "rules" of birthmother letters and made a multi-page website and I still have more to add to it. I am glad with my decision and I think that it will give our furture birthparents some ease when they read ALL about us!