[notadumbld]

In March my first grandchild turned one years old. He was adopted last year by wonderful parents and is growing like the proverbial weed!

My daughter was 18 and unmarried. She and the young man stayed together through the pregnency and up until the week of the baby's birthday, when he broke up with my daughter. What a terrible week for her!

Anyway, the aparents have been wonderful. THey send pictures often, allowed us to attend the baby's baptism, and even drove 5 hours to see my daughter play her college sport so that she could see the baby. She's welcome to visit whenever she wants.

Deciding on adoption was hard, but my daughter realized the best thing for the baby was two stable parents. Notice I said "the best thing for the baby". THis doesn't mean it was the best thing for my daughter, or for me for that matter. But the baby's needs were far more important that my daughter's and my feelings. I'm so proud of my daughter for having the courage to follow through with her decision despite the heartache she felt.

She wrote a wonderful opinion piece for our local paper about her decision. I'll post it if anyone is interested.

[jojobear]

I would love to read it.

Jody

[maryjanek]

I'd like to read it too!

[BrandyHagz]

I'd love to read it too!

Its so refreshing to read stories about positive traid experiences.

[Coley]

I would LOVE to read the peice as well!

Looking forward to reading it!!

Coley

[notadumbld]

Here is my daughter's article. Get the hankies ready. Pass it on!!

Last winter I was a pregnant teenager, but I am not a single mother. My boyfriend and I decided to be unselfish and give our child the chance at the best life he could have: He was given a family by adoption.

Our home pregnancy test came back positive. Panic-stricken, we rushed to Planned Parenthood, hoping against hope that this test would come back negative. We were not so lucky. Speaking through tears, we asked the nurse what to do. Instead of being given options, we were given one option - abortion. This, according to the Planned Parenthood nurse, would let us get on with our lives without anyone having know that I was pregnant. We told her that I was an Orthodox Christian and did not believe in abortion. That was the end of her help for us. Instead of advice, we got a terse "good luck" as we walked out the door. At first we thought of ourselves: how this baby was ruining our future dreams for college - and my boyfriend's dreams for a career as an ice-hockey referee. But we finally realized that the solution couldn't be about us. This was our mistake, and it was our responsibility to make sure our child didn't have to bear the consequences.

We knew that our decision had to be in the best interest of the baby despite our own pain. The best thing for our baby was to be raised by two mature and loving adults - in other words, adoption. Our parents supported our decision and offered us their support.
Friends and acquaintances wondered why we did not choose to keep the child for ourselves. We thought about it often, knowing how many young mothers do, but in our hearts we knew this wouldn't be fair to the baby. At 20 and 18, respectively, my boyfriend and I did not have the maturity or education to give this baby what he deserved. We faced years of menial jobs while trying to earn a college degree. Living together unmarried was not an option, and we knew the statistics of how many young marriages fail. Keeping the baby would be putting his future at too great a risk.

We went to Wide Horizons adoption agency in West Hartford, and with their help and that of an Orthodox Christian organization called Zoe for Life, we started searching for our child's family. We found them in Canada, a couple just like us but older. They even had an adopted daughter with my sister's name and same white hair. As soon as we met them, we knew we had found our son's mom and dad. Together the four of us decided upon a name - Nicholas Paul. My boyfriend and I discussed with the new parents seeing our son when he was older, and we asked if he would ever know about his biological parents. They told us that Nicholas would know everything we wanted him to know about us, and would have our picture by his bedside. He would know we acted out of love.

Now we waited for the months to pass. I took care of myself and finished my senior year of high school. I worked as long as I could to earn money for college in the fall. We tried not to think about how hard it was going to be delivering a baby but not bringing him home. We were lucky to have the support of family, friends, neighbors and my church throughout those months when I was so scared.

And then he was there. Our perfect baby boy was born March 13. At 8 pounds, 11 ounces and 21½ inches, he looked just like us. He had his father's cheekbones and ears, while sharing my long legs, hair color, nose and lips. We spent our time together in the hospital memorizing his features and the smell of his skin. He did not cry, only whimpered occasionally, which stopped when he gripped our fingers.

It was agony leaving without him; our hearts broke. But when pain threatened to overwhelm us, we remembered why we were doing this: We were being the best parents we could by giving our child the gift of a family through adoption. Do we miss him? Yes. Do we cry? Yes. Do we regret our decision? No.

Someday we will be ready to be parents, but keeping Nicholas would have been selfish and he deserved better - we all deserved better.

[Coley]

That was so heartfelt and amazingly powerful!! Your daughter did a great job writing that, so that others can understand her view point. I am glad she is at peace with her choice and that she had the support of her family, friends, and church.

God bless,

Coley

[notadumbld]

By the way, when this article ran in the paper, Planned Parenthood responded in a letter to the editor saying they always council pregnant teens in all options. My daughter said that was not the case for her. She wasn't referred to adoption agencies, she wasn't given a referral for counseling, etc. She was asked if she smoked, did drugs, or drank and given a couple of nutrition brochures. And last time I went to their website I didn't see anything about adoption.

[dl]

"It was agony leaving without him; our hearts broke. But when pain threatened to overwhelm us, we remembered why we were doing this: We were being the best parents we could by giving our child the gift of a family through adoption. Do we miss him? Yes. Do we cry? Yes. Do we regret our decision? No."

What a wonderful, mature, wise and unselfish young woman. Some day her son will be as proud of her ~ and the bioFather (although it's sad they broke up, he too was part of the decision) as you must be.

[apillo3]

Your daughter is amazing!!!!



I find that Planned Parenthood has only one reason for being and that is to destroy life. I am all for a womens choice to do with her body as she chooses but the choices need to be put out there. I've had some experience with them and I will NEVER set foot in one again.

[jazzyjessi]

hi my names jessi.i know what youre going thru in a way.i jsut recently gave birth to a healthy nany boy almost a month early.luckily,he was fine.the bdad,who is catholic,asked me not to have an abortion,and i agreed.ive never been to a planned parenthood,but from the posts ive read,theyre no help at all.i hope everything goes well for you now and in the future!