[Terri Bailey]

I am in search of my birth son born to me as Steven Christopher Fabella on 3/29/78 in Cheverly Md. I would just like to know if you were given a good home and life; which is the reason I gave you up. My name is Terri Bailey now, and would love to hear from you, even if it's give me hell or to tell me you hate me. Please contact!

[Searching_03256]

Terri - I wish you the best in locating your bson.

Let me please help in the couple of ways that I can. The first is really stupid but: Most people don't have time to read all the messages. If you put your son's bdate, or location of adoption, or something in the message so that it might catch someone's eye you might have a better chance.

The rest are a bit more substantive I would like to think.

Despite what you might think reading these forums, MOST adoptees do not grow up hating their bparents. How can you hate someone you don't know? If anything, we might not be happy about our given circumstances and we might think that we want to blame our bparents for those circumstances. Rarely, however is our bmom to blame for any bad circumstances that might exist. And MOST of the time we grew up pretty well. If you don't know about your son's circumstances I think the odds are very highly enough in your favor to believe that he has had a great life and does think neutral or positive about you. Just my experiences as an adoptee and otherwise.

In addition, your message and the heart felt warmth that comes through it tells me you didn't give up your son even though you did place him for adoption.

God bless and good luck with your search.

-Scott

[Terri Bailey]

I cried and was afraid to open this email at first, thinking it was too good to be true that I could have gotten a response that quickly. Then I cried even more when I read YOURS!. Thank you for the kind words, and you read me so well. God Bless you for taking the time to try to make someone you don't even know feel better. The world would be a much better place with more people like you in it. Thanks again, and have a safe and happy new year! Terri