[Mil]

He found me. What a jolt - I wasn't really expecting it. I didn't even dare hope for it. I didn't know reunion was quite as prevalent as it is and I had also heard that more girls search than boys. So I didn't even dare hope that he would search for me. I didn't feel that I had the right to search for him - and didn't even know there were places like this where you could register. He used a CI to open his records. It was tough the first couple of years, not so much getting to know him (we just seemed to click right from the beginning!) but having everyone find their 'place'. He was married, had kids, plus his adoptive parents. We're all Christians, which I think helped alot. We all thanked God for the reunion and also prayed a lot when things were awkward. They worked out and we're all one family now.

[longingtomeetyou]

wow that is so neat
i love your ending!!
all christians we are too
thats encouraging!!

[iluvkatie]

Hello,
I am a christian Birthmother. That is to say I'm a christian Birthmother now. When I gave my three children up for adoption I was a wild and crazy girl.

This happened at 16 and again at 21. Yet my haert still breaks when I see a picture of my two youngest, and thoughts of where he is and if he is still alive for my Youngest. Now I realize I am still greiveing. Oh Lord heal my soul! Amen

[longingtomeetyou]

Originally Posted by iluvkatie

Hello,
I am a christian Birthmother. That is to say I'm a christian Birthmother now. When I gave my three children up for adoption I was a wild and crazy girl.

This happened at 16 and again at 21. Yet my haert still breaks when I see a picture of my two youngest, and thoughts of where he is and if he is still alive for my Youngest. Now I realize I am still greiveing. Oh Lord heal my soul! Amen

hugs
i can sympathize with you cause i know the pain all too well
at least you have an open adoption hon
mine was closed and the pain of not knowing how your child is doing makes you cry alot....
if you ever need to talk im here ok
tks for responding
if you dont mind me asking how old are you
and do you have any more kids?

[iluvkatie]

Originally Posted by longingtomeetyou

hugs
i can sympathize with you cause i know the pain all too well
at least you have an open adoption hon
mine was closed and the pain of not knowing how your child is doing makes you cry alot....
if you ever need to talk im here ok
tks for responding
if you dont mind me asking how old are you
and do you have any more kids?

I will be 40 years old on July 31st.

When I was 16 years old [April 13th 1986] I got pregant by husband of very early age. He hung in until I placed our son Jonathan Samuel Clarke into his hands. It was then that he left me.

Alone and with a dysfunctional family I feared for his mental health. I wanted better for him than I had. I placed him with an EJ and Pilar. It was supossed to be an open adoption but almost as soon as it was final in the courts they were gone. I have no idea where he is if he is alright or he might even be dead, espeacilly because of the war.

Fast forward, to May 10th 1989. After my first husband left July 31st 1986, I had relationships with others. I couldn't aford the divorce and He was long gone( I reasoned) I got involved in a live in sittuation and got pregnant. Shortly after, he began abuseing me. I had Katie On May 10th 1989.

He hit her August of 1989, I left! I traveled to Virgina to escape him, Not knowing that I was pregnant again.This made me feel so desparate. In a shelter for Domestic Violence I sat trying to decide what to do with the mess I had made for both me and Katie, and this new one. I decided against at first. But with a little arm twisting from the program administrater I decided to give them up for adoption. That went togather in an open adoption sittuation.

All my babies are grown but... I'm the one hurting. They are happy and I'm still crying why is this the best for everyone!

Forgive me but I was given an email adress to my daughter. I have waited two days and she hasn't responded and my heart is breaking!

[longingtomeetyou]

im so sry hon i know how hard it is to wait the anguish
with God we are conquerers
always turn to Jesus when life is out of your control
God will always love you no matter what

[kakuehl]

All my babies are grown but... I'm the one hurting. They are happy and I'm still crying why is this the best for everyone!

Forgive me but I was given an email adress to my daughter. I have waited two days and she hasn't responded and my heart is breaking!

I understand the pain... D was 33 when we finally met. When I finally learned he was alive and well... married and a father himself. It took more than a month after he had my information before he emailed me for the first time. A couple days is a lifetime of waiting for you... but give her time to get over the shock. YOu don't know what her feelings, expectations of you are.
(I keep telling God I don't want the gift of patience: he tells me it's too late and gives me something else to practice on!)

[skimoore]

I just happened upon this website, and your message caught my attention. I placed my little girl up for adoption 12 years ago this month. It's an open adoption and K. is beautiful (inside and out). I remember when placing her up for adoption praying like crazy for a strong Christian home. God directed me toward this one that I chose. However, they just recently divorced! Satan attacked me on my decision (which there was no going back on obviously), but I had to stand firm on the Lord and trust that He directed me to them for His Sovereign reasons not the worlds. All I guess, I really want to say to you is to Pray like crazy and trust the Holy Spirit to direct your steps, even when the world may think otherwise of your decisions. God Bless

[longingtomeetyou]

Originally Posted by skimoore

I just happened upon this website, and your message caught my attention. I placed my little girl up for adoption 12 years ago this month. It's an open adoption and K. is beautiful (inside and out). I remember when placing her up for adoption praying like crazy for a strong Christian home. God directed me toward this one that I chose. However, they just recently divorced! Satan attacked me on my decision (which there was no going back on obviously), but I had to stand firm on the Lord and trust that He directed me to them for His Sovereign reasons not the worlds. All I guess, I really want to say to you is to Pray like crazy and trust the Holy Spirit to direct your steps, even when the world may think otherwise of your decisions. God Bless

i cant imagine if the adoptive parents got divorced....i would be so angry too.....without prayer what would we do....

[-emma-lee-]

I'm a christian birthmom!
I had my baby girl about 3 weeks ago now and she went home with her adoptive family last friday. She was adopted through a christian agency and by a wonderful genuine christian family. That alone gives me peace that one day I will see her again in heaven.

Its so awful without my baby girl, even though I am so happy for her and the life she is going to have with them. I just miss her like crazy, and I want to have her all to myself. I hope I did the right thing, because the pain is unbareable.. but that is a mothers love i guess

[julz12-13]

i placed my dd on december 17th 1986. even tho it was during the holidays, it helped b/c i stayed busy. i remember the feeling that my arms were just soooo empty. it just never goes away. do you have an open adoption? if you want to talk, i'll give you my email!!! lots of hugs and prayers!!!

Originally Posted by -emma-lee-

I'm a christian birthmom!
I had my baby girl about 3 weeks ago now and she went home with her adoptive family last friday. She was adopted through a christian agency and by a wonderful genuine christian family. That alone gives me peace that one day I will see her again in heaven.

Its so awful without my baby girl, even though I am so happy for her and the life she is going to have with them. I just miss her like crazy, and I want to have her all to myself. I hope I did the right thing, because the pain is unbareable.. but that is a mothers love i guess

[scoobydoo08]

I AM SO GLAD TO HAVE FINALLY FOUND A FORUM THAT I THINK FITS MY NEEDS.
I HAVE BEEN ON OTHER FORUMS AND HAVE FELT THAT ADOPTION WAS THE WORSE THING IN THE WORLD.
I UNDERSTAND WE ALL HAVE DIFFERNET EXPERIENCES BUT SOME OF THE COMMENTS AND RESPONSES I HAVE RECEIVED HAVE BEEN NOT SO ENCOURAGING.
FIRST GOD HAS PLAYED A BIG ROLE IN MY DECISION TO PLACE MY CHILD FOR ADOPTION.I PRAYED AND PRAYED AND HE GAVE ME THE TOOLS TO MAKE MY DECISION.
MAYBE MY STORY IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS AND I HOPE TO BE ABLE TO HELP ANOTHER IN THE SAME SITUATION.
I WILL TELL MY STORY IN ANOTHER POST.
LOOK FORWARD TO SHARING WITH OTHERS HERE.
REMEMBER, TO THOSE WHO PLACED A CHILD AND THE ONLY OPTION WAS A CLOSED ADOPTION, YOU HAVE PAVED THE WAY FOR US, WHO HAVE AN OPEN ADOPTION. dO NOT ENVY US, BE GLAD THAT OPEN ADOPTION IS AN IMPORTANT PART OF A CHILDS LIFE.

[iliv4him1971]

Hi folks. My name is Tina and I am a 37 year old birthmom to Tyler 16 and hailey 15. I put my babies up foir adoption after a messy and abusive marriage. I also have an 18 year old daughter named Amanda who went to stay with her dad family till things got situated and settled down. I am looking for a place to share how I feel about this and to be able to recive God based advise and support and prayer. Am i in the right place. I am new to the posting thing and not sure how to proceed with it. Would welcome any feedback and advise

[kakuehl]

Hi Iliv4him, this is certainly one of the places you can post you feelings and ask for advice. You can start your own thread in the area of birthmother center or join in on any thread that interests you.

Are you in an open relationship with your birthchildren? Please feel free to share with us. You will find people here who are genuinely interested in you.

[iliv4him1971]

Well, my adoption is supposed to be open but it hasnt been open in a few years. I have a hard time dealing with it at times. The only thing that gets me through is praying to my glorious FATHER in Heaven and knowing that my son will be 18 in 1 and a half years and my youngest will be 18 in 3 years.
I just continually search for peace and Thanks to God I have it now bu tit was a long time in comeing.
Blessings to you all
Tina