[Mil]

He found me. What a jolt - I wasn't really expecting it. I didn't even dare hope for it. I didn't know reunion was quite as prevalent as it is and I had also heard that more girls search than boys. So I didn't even dare hope that he would search for me. I didn't feel that I had the right to search for him - and didn't even know there were places like this where you could register. He used a CI to open his records. It was tough the first couple of years, not so much getting to know him (we just seemed to click right from the beginning!) but having everyone find their 'place'. He was married, had kids, plus his adoptive parents. We're all Christians, which I think helped alot. We all thanked God for the reunion and also prayed a lot when things were awkward. They worked out and we're all one family now.

[longingtomeetyou]

wow that is so neat
i love your ending!!
all christians we are too
thats encouraging!!

[iluvkatie]

Hello,
I am a christian Birthmother. That is to say I'm a christian Birthmother now. When I gave my three children up for adoption I was a wild and crazy girl.

This happened at 16 and again at 21. Yet my haert still breaks when I see a picture of my two youngest, and thoughts of where he is and if he is still alive for my Youngest. Now I realize I am still greiveing. Oh Lord heal my soul! Amen

[longingtomeetyou]

Originally Posted by iluvkatie

Hello,
I am a christian Birthmother. That is to say I'm a christian Birthmother now. When I gave my three children up for adoption I was a wild and crazy girl.

This happened at 16 and again at 21. Yet my haert still breaks when I see a picture of my two youngest, and thoughts of where he is and if he is still alive for my Youngest. Now I realize I am still greiveing. Oh Lord heal my soul! Amen

hugs
i can sympathize with you cause i know the pain all too well
at least you have an open adoption hon
mine was closed and the pain of not knowing how your child is doing makes you cry alot....
if you ever need to talk im here ok
tks for responding
if you dont mind me asking how old are you
and do you have any more kids?

[iluvkatie]

Originally Posted by longingtomeetyou

hugs
i can sympathize with you cause i know the pain all too well
at least you have an open adoption hon
mine was closed and the pain of not knowing how your child is doing makes you cry alot....
if you ever need to talk im here ok
tks for responding
if you dont mind me asking how old are you
and do you have any more kids?

I will be 40 years old on July 31st.

When I was 16 years old [April 13th 1986] I got pregant by husband of very early age. He hung in until I placed our son Jonathan Samuel Clarke into his hands. It was then that he left me.

Alone and with a dysfunctional family I feared for his mental health. I wanted better for him than I had. I placed him with an EJ and Pilar. It was supossed to be an open adoption but almost as soon as it was final in the courts they were gone. I have no idea where he is if he is alright or he might even be dead, espeacilly because of the war.

Fast forward, to May 10th 1989. After my first husband left July 31st 1986, I had relationships with others. I couldn't aford the divorce and He was long gone( I reasoned) I got involved in a live in sittuation and got pregnant. Shortly after, he began abuseing me. I had Katie On May 10th 1989.

He hit her August of 1989, I left! I traveled to Virgina to escape him, Not knowing that I was pregnant again.This made me feel so desparate. In a shelter for Domestic Violence I sat trying to decide what to do with the mess I had made for both me and Katie, and this new one. I decided against at first. But with a little arm twisting from the program administrater I decided to give them up for adoption. That went togather in an open adoption sittuation.

All my babies are grown but... I'm the one hurting. They are happy and I'm still crying why is this the best for everyone!

Forgive me but I was given an email adress to my daughter. I have waited two days and she hasn't responded and my heart is breaking!

[longingtomeetyou]

im so sry hon i know how hard it is to wait the anguish
with God we are conquerers
always turn to Jesus when life is out of your control
God will always love you no matter what

[kakuehl]

All my babies are grown but... I'm the one hurting. They are happy and I'm still crying why is this the best for everyone!

Forgive me but I was given an email adress to my daughter. I have waited two days and she hasn't responded and my heart is breaking!

I understand the pain... D was 33 when we finally met. When I finally learned he was alive and well... married and a father himself. It took more than a month after he had my information before he emailed me for the first time. A couple days is a lifetime of waiting for you... but give her time to get over the shock. YOu don't know what her feelings, expectations of you are.
(I keep telling God I don't want the gift of patience: he tells me it's too late and gives me something else to practice on!)