[kakuehl]

Julz12-13 - welcome to the forums... I'm sure it was very difficult for you (and your family). I imagine some of the people wanted to know how it happened as well! since pastor's and their families are supposed to be perfect. One of the challenges of my reunion with my bson (who grew up as a pk as well) is being open with the congregations I serve. (It's somewhat amazing how many people haven't figured it out when I've talked about it in the pulpit - openly, I thought!)

I can guarantee you'll get advice and support in these forums; you will also hear voices from all sides of the triad.

Again, welcome.

[longingtomeetyou]

Originally Posted by julz12-13

in fact i am a preacher's dd. it was a very rough time during my pregnancy and then the adoption. ppl felt b/c my family was the minister they had a privilage of knowing our business. ppl literally asked me HOW could i give my bd away. there were hurtful times i thought i wouldnt make it thru. but i have and now its 20yrs later. i know God had a plan w/ all of it. and i now have some info on my bd. i am praying what God's will is now that i have this info.
also...i am brand new to this forum. i hope to get some advise,support and input on being a bmom and reunion.

oh wow hon
i am a preachers daughter also......
welcome to the site
its really really gotten me through my darkest hours......

when i got pregnant ,our best friends asked my parents
why didnt my parents tell them ...they would of helped......

my parents wanted to cover up the fact i got pregnant and adopted

we sure have similar situations
are you Baptist by the way
now that would be ironic,,,,lol

my daughter will be 18 next year
im not sure what im going to do yet

part of me would want her to make the first contact ....that way i know shes ready

im praying for the right timing

glad your here

[julz12-13]

well i'm not baptist but close..it was church of christ back in "those" days..but they're called christian churches now. so very conservative,hell and brimstone,dogmatic blah blah blah in those days took me a long time to truly know GOD"S LOVE!!! but i am sooo thankful for charles stanley and his devotions. he's greatly helped me w/ understanding the love my Savior has for me AND forgiveness.
uhhh no one asked HOW i got pregnant. but lots asked how i could be up front and sing a song on sunday morning knowing what i was doing to eventually get pregnant. i wasnt the only girl in our church to get pregnant. but of course mine was the one broadcasted all over the county and surrounding ones too. and the ppl who were blabbing their mouths were the elders. and they fired my dad. yeah...there is still some resentment. b/c i was sent away to have this baby. while i was gone...there was a fire in our house...the parsonage. well i never got to come "home". i never had a home to come back to...they fixed the house...but fired my dad....after the terrible inccident w/ our house...loving ppl huh? but this helped make my descision easier. i couldnt regret my surrender b/c who would want to bring a child into that mess? so iwas grateful my atty found a christian man and woman who now serve in a church. she is an only child. she's in a christian college now. yeah..i JUST found this out this week. i am trying to decide if i should make contact or wait until she's 21. i live in ohio and the laws are 21. wow!!!! this is such a rollercoster ride. thats why i came to this forum recommended to help w/ some descisions. i am so overwhelmed. and as you all know...once you really start dwelling in those memories...it all just floods back so easily...and your heart aches and your stomach churns. but my heart is sooo flowing over w/ love for this girl. please pray for me as i looked to God for His will in all this. that was the really cool thing about this whole process. on nite laying in bed at 19yo...i was praying "Lord...do you really want me to give this baby up for adoption?" i just laid my arms out in my bed and asked "then Lord, just give me peace and show me the way"... the Holy Spirit just overcome me that nite w/ the strongest sense of peace that i knew what i was suppose to do. never before had the Lord spoke to me soo plain.

[julz12-13]

Originally Posted by longingtomeetyou

my daughter will be 18 next year
im not sure what im going to do yet

part of me would want her to make the first contact ....that way i know shes ready

im praying for the right timing

glad your here

i have a 17yo dd. she is going thru LOTS of different emotions and attitudes. no one prepared me for this. somedays i'm glad i only have one dd...LOL!! i also have 2 ds..one is 14yo and the other is 2yo...yes i have a caboose...LOL!! i'm looking forward to getting to know you better!!!

[longingtomeetyou]

awwww lol
well when i think back to when i was 17...oh my
i just hope shes not going to struggle like i did sexually ....that much i pray for .....

i am grateful to the person who sent me her name ......at least i was able to make some bit of contact.....

but i dont know when i should reunite fully ...as you say so much going on at that time of life
i just keep praying for God to bring us together at the right time....

the funny part is when we moved here...our phone number had her birthdate in it.....when the operator asked me if i wanted that number i said sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
lol/////i thought that was another sign....

funny thing is
how God has looked at my pain and knew i couldnt handle any more emotional pain surrounding this adoption.....Hes gradually healing me .....

[kakuehl]

Julz, I'm not a Baptist either (Lutheran here) but my mother was. I taught Vacation Bible School there while I was pregnant (although they didn't know I was expecting). After that, they made a rule that you couldn't help with/ or teach VBS unless you were a member... When I got married, my mother checked with her pastor to make sure it was ok for me to get married in a church ceremony. (He said yes, "if it were a small, quiet wedding.) My mother later said that she hadn't wanted me to wear he wedding dress (she said it years later when my sister wore Mother's gown) My wedding dress was was ecru (not white) which made her feel better. I never told her that actually its the veil that's the sign of purity and virginity not the color of the dress. (I wore a veil...)

[longingtomeetyou]

hi julz12-13 wondering how your doing.....

[julz12-13]

i'm doing ok. still sitting on my info..i know i am such a chicken. i had surgery june 6th. i'm on leave from work until july 8th.
i keep thinking i need to get "this" or "that" in order before i try to contact her. i know its procrastination. i'm not usually like that. i'm more bold and go head first into things. but you know how this ALL changes you..and i think i'm just hesitant to walk thru that next door of change...age has also done that to me. lol!
thank for thinking of me!!! how are you?

[kakuehl]

Hi Julz,

Maybe now is the time since you're off work. I hope you're recovering well from your surgery.

[kakuehl]

Hi Julz,

Maybe now is the time since you're off work. I hope you're recovering well from your surgery.

[Andersen]

Yes, I am Christian birthmom. My son just turned 23. We have not had a reunion, but I am forever praying for one. Today's Mother's Day was a little tough. I have two beautiful daughters that I would love for their brother to meet. I have written to his parents through my lawyer over the years and they have responded. The letters are cordial and always give me some information, but not much, although I am very grateful for anything.
Would love to chat.

Wendy Hartman

[kakuehl]

How nice that they respond at least to a point. I understand the difficulty of Mother's Day. It's rarely my happiest day.