[Jody M]

Dear Birth Parents, I am an adoptee who was born in 1955 during the closed adoption era. I was reunited with my birth sisters over 10 years ago after a lengthy search. My birth parents were deceased when I found my 3 sisters. I did receive some non-identifying information from the agency I was adopted through. And my birth sisters gave me quite a few lovely photos of my birth parents who were married to each other at the time of my birth and adoption. I am grateful for these! But what I found sad about my adoption reunion is that I never had something tangible that was meant to be given to me from my birth mother or father - nothing that spoke to me as an adoptee of my story, their thoughts of me or their dreams for me. And since they passed away, I could never see them face to face to have that connection. I cannot say how valuable letters/journals/ and pictures/small gifts can be! Even if the adoptee is young now and you are not in an open adoption, do write down your thoughts/feelings/prayers and/or dreams for your child. And if you can set aside a small gift/tangible item- a piece of jewelry, a special token, something personal for them. I would give anything to have something from my birth parents! Though the photos I was given from my birth sisters are priceless and I am fortunate to have them, I deeply miss some kind of personal connection from my birth parents to me. I know some birth parents reunite with the children they placed for adoption- and some find closed doors due to fears and misunderstandings, or other persons dictating what the adoptee should or should not do. But someday the adoptee may seek them out or desire to connect. These letters can be placed with the agency or kept in a keepsake box or album for the adoptee. A suggestion to write thoughts to your child and reflections on their birthdays
From an adoptee who wishes she had one or more of these precious things to cherish from my birth parents.

[Jody M]

Would love to see others share here their experiences whether you are an adoptee, birth parent or adoptive parent. How do agencies encourage leaving letters in adoption files?
Thanks, Jody Moreen

[ttammy1432]

just somthing to share with you .i am a birth mom and i still have the baby book that i first got when my daughter was born i had memories up till she was about 6 months old when she was adopted .recently when she turned 18 we started talking may be a faw minutes at a time.well she is turning 19 in a couple of weeks and i thought putting her baby book together and adding some picture's that i had of her in place of the bleank pages would be a great birthday present .when i mention to her i had her baby book she was shocked .i believe in writing down stuff over the years will help some also .thanks for sharing your story ..while i was reading it the phone rang and it was her on the phone we live 8 hours away from one another .well i will keep you in my prayer's that your sister may have somthing your looking for tammy millet

[lahdh4]

I have an open adoption but I still keep a journal for her that I fill in and write in often. Whenever we have a visit I write down the things that I remember and what she was saying. I do the same everytime I talk with L and she fills me in, I write it down. At one point in the future I will give these to her as these are for you.

[thanksgivingmom]

Writing my thoughts down helps in so many ways. It gives me a place to vent, it gives me a place to process what I am thinking and going through, and it will provide my daughter with the opportunity to understand all the things i may not be able to explain to her someday. I want her to know the story of her birth, and to know all the things I was thinking in those first days...feelings I can never hope to recapture but that I can try to record so that I never forget. Hopefully through reading my thoughts she will be able to understand why I make the choices I make. Writing about how her absence effects my days, like today on Christmas, will hopfeully help her to see that while I may have placed her with another family, she was always with me.