[Zee]

Seems you have thought about it long an hard.
And in one sense it will be nice for you to be able to see an love him without him knowing an him having a mom an dad that loves him.

I am glad that you feel so comfortble with this. I know he will love you when you do tell him.

Also another thing is for the adoption the father has to give up his rights or they have to run a ad for i think 30 days an if he doesnt respond then he has no right to him as well.


I hope the best for you dear and your son. God Bless you honey.

[tiabear82]

thank you so much for your support.
The good news....
The father legally signed his rights over tonight in front of a notary.
So now the only thing is for me to do the same when Landon is born.
Thank god that part is taken care of
Love,
Tia

[Zee]

You are being very mature about and i know things will work out for all of you in your decision..
hugs

[tiabear82]

thank you so much Zee. All good luck thoughts or prayers sent in this direction are much appreciated.

all of you guys have been terrific... I have reffered my Aunt to get on this site and talk to other adoptive parents about this, for advice and support.
I feel very welcomed here. For once I feel am not alone in this.
I love you guys
Tia

[lafrisch]

Tia,

Thanks for your reply. In a way, you are helping me out just by listening. So thanks.

I don't want to push you one way or the other and I think it's really great that you have the opportunity that I did not to explore the world of adoption and have a lot more information than I did on the effects of adoption on the adoptee and the first parents. You will be able to make a much more informed decision.

I'm just very angry myself now that I've discovered the effects that adoption can have on the adopted child that I was not informed about.

Also, I'm angry that the very organizations that helped me place my child do not provide better support for me now that she is turning 18 and may be looking me up any day. I have not yet found a support group of live people outside of the web.

I would like to share my experiences with friends and family, but its hard to do. Several friends are married and pregnant and happy. My family is so pro adoption and several members have severe depression and anxiety problems, so I'm afraid to burst their pro adoption bubble by letting them know the horrible time I'm going through. I honestly believe I would have kept my child if I had all the facts. I was poor and struggling, but I managed to put myself through college and handle a lot of other problems and I think it could have been done with a child as well as without. And I would not be sitting here with everything in the world I could want except my child and a support group.

Thanks again for writing.

And good luck to you and your baby. You know, your child is lucky to have a mom that cares.

[schatz]

Tia,
I'm so glad you found this site...please take all the advice to heart. Like you, I was firm in my adoption decision prior to giving birth. I have to tell you that nothing you read or think or hear before then can prepare you for actually giving birth and knowing you are relinquishing your child. I knew in my head that it was what I wanted and my adoptive parents were there for the birth and stayed at the hospital with the baby... I will continue to see them...but actually going through with it was the most difficult and painful thing I have ever experienced.
I'm glad you are referring your aunt and uncle to this site...I think there is a lot to learn here. I hope you do get counseling and that you really think long and hard and read everything you can about family adoption and then give it to your aunt and uncle for them to read. Also, don't rush things once your son is born. Especially because your aunt and uncle are your family...take as much time as you need to be with your son because you can never get that time back. I would highly reccommend that you read the articles in Courtney's corner (if you haven't already). There is one in particular that talks about the things you should consider before giving birth regarding who leaves the hospital with the baby etc.. Talk to your aunt and uncle about your wishes and respect YOUR right to plan things in a way that make YOU comfortable.
Good luck and keep coming.

[Addie02]

wow I comend you for being able to give your child to some one so close. You are strong than I am. I am a birthmom and remember all to well thous emotions and feels. I hope everything works out well for you.

[Sabra]

Dear Tia:

I am in hopes that you are doing well. Sleeping may be getting harder. Have your tired laying on your side with the pillow between both legs LOL.!! Sounds funny but it sure helped me!

I am in hopes that you are doing well with your baby's delivery date getting closer. I hope that you know that you are valued as a beautiful young lady working hard to do her best. I am proud of you for the research and time you have spent asking questions.

From your posts you sound like you have a sincere and loving heart. I sense that whatever you put your heart into now and for the rest of you life you will do well. Keep equipping yourself with the knowledge and understanding that strenghens you as a person. Continue to set goals and grow. The emotions you may encounter over the next few years may be more than you have experienced before but do not let that frighten you. For several reasons it is very normal. You can do well and I see this in you. You are not a follower or a weak person. You are someone so very special with so much in her future. Continue to do things for yourself that make you, you! Do not forget that you are resourceful and strong. Do not forget that you are someone who seeks wisdom and the truth. Do not forget that you are an example to others (as we all are, but to chicken to admit.)

Keep a loving heart towards yourself. Know that you contain a vast amount of beauty and care towards others. There will be days ahead that may be tough but you, I can see, are truly made up of the right stuff, to continue to be the fine lady that God has intended you to be!

We are here for you, always,

Sabra Cossentine
Community Director
http://www.adoptionforums.com
http://www.adoptionchat.com
http://www.adoptionlists.com

[vicrose]

Tia, I cannot even imagine the emotions that you are going through in your last months of pregnancy. But you definitely need to talk to your aunt and uncle and make them understand that you are going through a grieving process now and you need some type of counseling-please get some counseling, I know that you are giving your baby to them and you have made up your mind to do this, but I'm telling you that now and after the birth your hormones will play tricky games with you, and you may feel like your going crazy with the grief. I know because I am both an adoptee and a mother of 3. My biological mother was somewhat in the same position as you, her parents told her that they would not help her, as a matter of fact they told her if she didn't give me up then she wasn't welcome in their house. Well, she chose adoption and that God she did, thank God I didn't have to live in a home where I wasn't wanted-trust me my adoptive parents weren't any prize, but they did take care of the necessities. Good luck to you and your son in the future.