[SchmennaLeigh]

Why do I always find out things like this (or, bad things in general) on days that my Husband works a 24? I just need a snuggle.

Thanks everyone for being honest about the procedures with me. I like to know what I'm headed for...

[bromanchik]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

And tonight I just wanted someone else to say, "Yeah, it sucks."

Throw a pity party with me.

It is early morning but can I add my "It sucks big time"? If you were close I'd bring over cake and balloons and do the pity party right.

[Emster]

Aww, Jenna, it really DOES suck/blow/bite/hurt/suck some more and make a person feel bad. Our bodies just don't always cooperate, and usually at the most inopportune moments. The unknown is always the hardest part. Hopefully when they do all that poking and prodding, they'll be able to come up with some answers for you.

I'm here eating some pity party cake right now...just popped a balloon.

[lahdh4]

Lets just throw our own party online. Mine is just a crappy/bluh/sucky week and I can only send positive thoughts your way Jenna.

[blessedbybug]

Originally Posted by SchmennaLeigh

I don't know where else to post this today. But I'm bummed.

Let me preface this with: I thought I had taken my last birth control pill ever on Saturday at the end of the pill pack. Josh and I had decided to use the Fertility Awareness Method (from the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility) because, since the miscarriage, even high dose hormonal birth control is not cutting it for me. Lots of bleeding, etc. Beyond that, we have decided to "ttc without actively trying" starting in December. So, I had an appointment with my doc today to go over my menstrual chart.

Not good.

He took one look at my chart and said, "Are you on 35?" I said, "No, 50." He then got that concerned doctor look on his face. He asked what Josh and I were planning. I said that we were going to begin FAM and use condoms until I got the hang of temping and checking CM. He said, "No. I need you on HBC for another full month." Why? Oh. I have a transvaginal ultrasound now scheduled for next Tuesday followed by a D&C to look at my uterus. Why? He's worried about polyps or cysts. Or something else completely wrong.

I just want to sit and cry.

These things are not supposed to happen to me. I know that I'm grateful for a doctor who is thorough. I know this. But I am still angry tonight. I want to have never lost the pregnancy with Rose. I want to be fourteen weeks pregnant. I want to feel the swell of my belly.

I just needed to vent. My Husband attempted to understand but he's the very "it will be okay," reassuring type of personality. And tonight I just wanted someone else to say, "Yeah, it sucks."

Throw a pity party with me.

(((((((((Jenna)))))))) I am so sorry you are going through this... all of it. Yes, it sucks...big time!!! All of it... I am so sorry for your loss and now, these new concerns. I wish there was something else to say but I am hoping with all I got that your dreams of another pregnancy and babe come true very soon!

[musemoon]

I have been following your story and boy are you strong. I know it sucks and blows, bites, tanks the works, and it ISN'T FAIR.

I had an ovary removed with a 5lb tumor on it and it was NOT CANCER.....yeee hoo. And I was told that I could still have kids, but I chose to adopt instead. I am foster/adopting a baby at the moment. Just what my heart told me to do.

However, I know this sounds lame, but I really believe you will have more kids :-) Just keep sending your body....namely your rascally ovaries good vibes :-) and envision your little one coming to you. I promise you will be pregnant.

A friend of mine is 40 and has had 3 miscarriages and is on bed rest, but his pregnant and is having a girl in six weeks. SO....she did just that, visualized her little kid and it happened. Hockey I know...but why not.

HUGS AND LOVE.....I can't wait to hear that your having another baby :-)

[qs mom]

I'm sorry, I've been away from my computer.

About biopsies - they tried twice at different times to do a uterine biopsy in the office. 2 different docs - year apart. I had too much cramping to get it done. Additionally, I guess I have a long cervix and it was tough to reach. Who'd a thunk?

Anyway, the biopsy was done along with the hysteroscopy and D & C - I was out cold. Didn't feel a thing. And as I mentioned I was pretty crampy for a few days afterwards. But, I had no other problems - no bleeding at all.

If you are a person who feels better knowing what's going on and what's going to happen, definitly research it. Ask your doc to explain more. Ask him/her for a pamphlet or to recommend reading or a website. ASK TO BE KNOCKED OUT!

[kakuehl]

I have to admit... menopause has some advantages! (Hot flashes in the summer is not one of them!) I have had a d & C (I was asleep, had no bad after effects.) I've had several endometrial biopsies. (Pain meds ahead of time definitely help!) I went through childbirth with no meds... the biopsies weren't as bad or as long!

Jenna, you're right! It definitely sucks! I think the not knowing is always the worst. Facing the unknown is scary. And of course they always have to tell you everything it could possibly be!

Think positively! (Don't make the pity party too long!)

Blessings,
Kathy

[patti Daniels]

I do not want you to think I am being like your husband, but don't borrow trouble. Maybe the doctor wants to make sure everything is ok. I will pray for you and your family. I had a scare last year. My GYN palpated a cyst on my ovary. I had an ultrasound and it revealed a solid cyst. This terrified me. It turned out to be a fluid filled cyst and I am fine. Think positive.

[SchmennaLeigh]

My surgery has been rescheduled for the end of October. I'm not pleased but I have to deal. So I will.

I just got my paperwork on what to expect, how to prepare, etc. And I have the most random, off the wall question EVER:

It says that I have to remove jewelry before the surgery. Obviously, rings and earrings are included. Is my nose ring included?

Oh, Jenna. Why are you so weird?

[healingfeeling]

yup...i had to remove my belly button ring.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Crikey. That sucks.

Do you know if a plastic spacer would be "approved" to keep in during surgery?

[qs mom]

A plastic spacer should be fine. I know that if you CANNOT remove it, they could tape it. My mom was unable to remove her wedding bands for years, she just gained to much weight and they were stuck there. They were taped a couple of times for surgery.

[Poleczech]

Yes, ttc really sucks, blows, bites, and whatever other adjective you can think of. DH and I ttc for 15 years before the docs finally had to tell me that I had to have a hysterectomy (long story there). But I had test after test, u/s after u/s (yeah, they suck too), hysteroscopy, hystolsalpingogram (not sure I spelled that one right -- but it sucks too), laperoscopy, fertility drugs of varying natures, hormones, blah blah blah. To make a very long story short, I can definitely feel your pain (literally and figuratively), so you have hugs from me coming your way!