[SchmennaLeigh]

Aaaaaaaaand.... back to the trying. Month two, under way. Watch out.

I think I could get used to this. *chuckles*

[Angelwings2002]

I am glad to see this board.It seems that sometimes people forget about us who have placed a child and have now reached a place in our lives where we are ready to have a child, and we try and try and sometimes it happens and sometimes it doesn't. And everyone has advise.
("Drink Green Tea,Relax,Do it on this day.........and MY ALL time FAV....YOU MUST NOT BE DOING IT RIGHT")

I had my daughter in 1984 I placed her in 1986. I had my son in 85, he passedaway at 16 minutes old.
I married my DH in 91 and we tried from that day until, after 13 yrs of Infertility treatments and Dr's we called it quits after our failed IUI in Dec of last yr (04). My RE (said to be THE BEST in OHIO) even said there was no reason for us not to be getting PG.

I wouldn't wish IF problems on my worst enemy.
I hope it doesnt take long for all of you that are TTC to fulfill your dreams.
There are some really informative websites for couples/people TTC. I have a few favs... ask if you wanna know the names. Not sure I can post them here. Don't want to break the TOS.

[katie_bear1983]

Hi-

Just wanted to chime in - it took me long enough - darn it!

I am a birthmother and placed Liam with his adoptive family in May 2004. After 15 hours of intense labor I remember thinking that I never wanted to go through this process ever again - but after seeing him I knew that he was worth it.

I had potential cord prolapse which caused me to labor flat on my back. He and I ended up having incompatable blood types meaning that our bloods mixed through the umbilical during delivery causing many problems. Liam had Bilirubin rate of 4 and a normal rate for an infant is 1. We had still not "firmly" chosen a family. They ended up flying Liam to a larger hospital the day he was born and I remained in the hospital where I had given birth.

I have always said this and will continue to say it - Liam has stolen my heart and I am so thankful that I chose to carry him - to give him the opportunity of life.

Now to TTC. My DH - who is also Liam's birthfather - and I got married in October 2004. My biggest fear - no matter how irrational - was that after placing my Liam for adoption that God would somehow punish me and not allow me to have children in the future. My other fears range from big to small. How will Liam feel knowing that his birthparents got married just four months after placing him? Will my subsequent pregancies be has hard on my body? What if our blood types are once again incompatable? Can I be a good mom? Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Then - there are the comments my DH and I get from others. Don't you wish you would have gotten married six months sooner and kept him? Did you two get pregnant to fill the void from placing Liam? Is it too late to bring Liam home? Sighs - what do you do with people that say such things?

DH and I are 13 weeks pregnant! We did not get pregnant our first month of TTC but we did in our second month of TTC. We have been learning not to allow other people's actions and comments sear to the core of our beings - oh and that is hard. People have no clue that pain and heartache that comes from placing a child and I hate it when they tell me that they do. I feel like telling them - when you have placed a baby - then come back and talk to me. And the idea that an open adoption should make everything "fine" is ludicrous. Even with an open adoption - those hard days and moments are still there - and I believe that they always will be. How could there not be? There is someone out there that is walking around and that has my eyes - has my giggle - has my stubborness. There is someone out ther who is always and forever a part of me.

This pregnancy is different than my first pregnancy in many ways. There is just something different about an unplanned pregnancy and a planned pregnancy. I am who I am today because of my life experinces - both good and bad. I know that I love this baby I am carrying just as much as I love my little Liam. Both have changed my life in ways that I never could have imagined.

Just sharing my thoughts on the topic. Enjoy every moment of TTC even with all of the stress - struggles and worry. If a mother can place her baby to give him/her more then I believe that she can do anything. If someone even had a clue what we deal with on a daily basis they would keep their mouths shut and allow us to live our lives no matter what our emotions are at the moment. What is the saying? If you can't say anything nice - then don't say anything at all.

[SchmennaLeigh]

Katie,

Thank you for sharing.

I know that I am going to get some unapproving looks and comments from those who are aware of the adoption. My Mother hopefully won't be one of them as I think she is excited for us but very, VERY worried about my health. Considering she was there through every emergency room visit, ambulance ride, shot, etc, she is just fearful for me and any potential child. (And Josh's sanity.) I know my best friend, who was my labor coach, isn't all that approving as of yet. I know she's thinking, as she just got married a month before Josh and I, that we need to wait awhile. That we need to be more financially sound. (We are.) That I need to wait until I'm not hurting regarding Munchkin anymore.

Well, I'm going to hurt forever. I all ready know that. I'm not waiting forever. My kidney won't allow that.

Katie, I wish you all the best in this pregnancy.

[katie_bear1983]

Jenna-

Thank you for the well wishes!

Sighs - I wish I could tell you to ignore all of the negative comments you may receive from others. But from reading your story here in the forum - I think you and I react to things much in the same way. But - I will say to keep your chin up and rely on that sweet husband of yours.

Adoption does not affect our lives for a moment - it affects our lives for eternity. I am so grateful for the wonderful men that we have "snagged" who love us through anything and everything.

We are blessed!

[SchmennaLeigh]

Katie, you are oh-so-right that we are oh-so-lucky. I wish others didn't feel the need to make me feel bad simply because I've found happiness in some parts of my life. The happiness does not and will never negate the pain and sacrifice.

In others news, an August baby?! You're going to be at your most-big at the most-hot month of the year! WOW! Have fun with that one.

[katie_bear1983]

Jenna-

It is wonderful to be so in love!

Oh - yes - most-big and most-hot. Hum - maybe I should have planned a little better? Oh well - all will work out and be worth it. =)

[Jocelynbok]

Hi everyone. I am new to this site. This is even my first post. I am also TTC after my placement. I have been trying over a year now but my ther have been no results as of yet. Sometimes I feel like I am betraying my other cildren by having another child. Is that weird???

[SchmennaLeigh]

No, it's not weird.

I think, on some level, every birthparent experiences that emotion, which is why we pushed for this forum to be opened/created. Feel free to discuss what you're feeling.

And welcome.

[Montraviatommyg]

Originally Posted by Jocelynbok

Hi everyone. I am new to this site. This is even my first post. I am also TTC after my placement. I have been trying over a year now but my ther have been no results as of yet. Sometimes I feel like I am betraying my other cildren by having another child. Is that weird???

There's nothing weird about how you feel, good luck though.

Philippa

[Jocelynbok]

That did make me feel a little better then man that I am with right now is not the bio but I am licky and he is there for me and my other child(who is the eldest of the children I placed) but he does not have any children of his own so I think that it would be unfair of me not to at least try to give him one of his own he is a wonderful man he deserves a child of his own. But for some reason it is hard for us to conceive. I see from reading that I am not the only one that is going through this. I am glad that I found everyone here I think that it is going to help to have people that are going through the same thing as me

[BellaNel]

Just wanted to add that miscarriage cannot be brought on by intercourse- my boyfriend had that concern as well last year when I miscarried early in pregnancy. Most of the time it is due to abnormalities in the development of the fetus that occur without any sort of influence from the mother.

[MindyDear]

Originally Posted by kiwi

This forum is for borthparents trying to conceive (TTC)after the placement of a child into adoption.

There are many unique situations and emotions for birthparents who are TTC. Please share your concerns and experiences here.

Hello! I am new to this forum and am hoping to find someone out here that may be able to help me with my unique challange.

I'll quickly catch you up to speed:

1. My huband was adopted into a wonderful family 35 years ago.

2. I placed my beautiful infant daughter for adoption 8 years ago.

3. My husband and I were married 4 1/2 years ago.

4. We knew that we wanted to have children and immediately began focusing on that.

5. Two years ago a friend of ours knew of a birth mom who was placing a 6 month old baby for adoption and passed along the info.

6. One week (to the day) later, we were the proud (although still shocked) parents of a beautiful baby girl.

7. Our little one is now 2 1/2 and we would like to adopt again.

I know that it's a long shot, but
IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO CAN RELATE TO THIS?

[SchmennaLeigh]

Originally Posted by MindyDear

Hello! I am new to this forum and am hoping to find someone out here that may be able to help me with my unique challange.

I'll quickly catch you up to speed:

1. My huband was adopted into a wonderful family 35 years ago.

2. I placed my beautiful infant daughter for adoption 8 years ago.

3. My husband and I were married 4 1/2 years ago.

4. We knew that we wanted to have children and immediately began focusing on that.

5. Two years ago a friend of ours knew of a birth mom who was placing a 6 month old baby for adoption and passed along the info.

6. One week (to the day) later, we were the proud (although still shocked) parents of a beautiful baby girl.

7. Our little one is now 2 1/2 and we would like to adopt again.

I know that it's a long shot, but
IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO CAN RELATE TO THIS?

I know of quite a few birth parents who have gone on to adopt. You're not alone.